RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

I'm seriously having one.

I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I haven't posted a Miss Daisy update lately.

Miss Daisy is NOT my favorite feline at the moment.  And I'm not sure when she ever will be again.

She is still cute.  Hubby is enthralled by her.  Even Codi has accepted her, although Daisy's kittenish antics sometimes become too much for her to deal with. Codi is a really good snarler.

I am becoming one.  Or maybe I always have been good at snarling and I'm just doing it more often these days.

Anyway...the problem is this.

Miss Daisy sometimes, usually, often.....but, alas, not always...uses the litter box to pee.  Instead, she started peeing on my teal leather sofa.

I am NOT happy.

We gave it a thorough cleaning and then covered it with an old coverlet and a plastic drop cloth to protect it.

 The look does absolutely nothing for my decor. 

Just walking through the living room and seeing that plastic encased sofa ticks me off....BIG TIME!

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

In the meantime, Miss Daisy continues to grow by leaps and bounds...

and to sleep....a lot!

I am trying really hard to Be Grateful.

WHEN SPIRITS SPEAK

Here’s a little story I want to share with you all. This happened several years ago. It shows how we are all connected in a very real way!


One day, I was browsing through the library with no idea what I was looking for.

A little book just jumped off the shelf and into my hands....

Well….. not really...but you know what I mean.

I took it home...started reading it and knew almost immediately that it was going to change my life.

I got on-line and dug and dug till I was able to find the author's home phone number.

I felt possessed. 

I felt like a stalker or something.

But I was just DRIVEN to call her. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a strong feeling to do something in my entire life.

So, I called her and was leaving a clumsy, stumbling message on her answering machine, trying to tell her how much her book was affecting me…when she picked up the phone.

She said she was just coming in with an armload of groceries and couldn’t get to the phone any sooner.

Here's this person who has just changed my whole life and she's carrying groceries in from the car?  That somehow just did not seem right to me.  Surely she wasn't living the regular life of a regular person, was she?

I told her...again...feeling very foolish indeed...that I just had to call her to tell her how her book was impacting me and I had only just started reading it! I wasn’t even half way through it yet.

She was so sweet and we talked for a good while. I felt like I’d just made a new friend.

Then...later, after I'd finished the book...I wrote her a letter apologizing for infringing on her privacy by calling her and repeating how special her book was to me.

Weeks and weeks went by and I'd about forgotten that I’d written her...when one morning................


The phone rang.



It was her!
It was she!
It was Awiakta!



She said....”I've been in France for the last 3 weeks. I just got home last night around midnight and I was so tired. But I was looking through the mail and saw your letter. I had to read it right then.”


She went on to say, in her sweet southern drawl,

“I just had to call you and tell you a story.........

“You know”, she said, “that day when you called me, I was going through a really rough time.

I was going through my second round of chemo for breast cancer.

I was thinking I might die.

And I was wondering if anything I'd ever written had made any difference at all in the world.”

And that, Dear Reader, is when I called her. Don’t you find that absolutely wonderful? I did. I still do.

My call must have been a balm to her soul, don’t you think? And I was so worried about acting in a totally inappropriate way.

I believe my Spirit heard her Spirit’s cry…and answered.

She is Marilou Awiakta,  a half-Cherokee poet and essayist.

I recently posted one of her poems on here, “WHEN EARTH BECOMES AN "IT."  It is one of my favorites by her, but there are many that I love.

The name of that little book is, SELU, SEEKING THE CORN MOTHER’S WISDOM. I bought my own copy so I can read from it any time I want to. I don’t have to get it from the library anymore.

Why did the book affect me so?

Because I had been ‘imprinted’ with an image of an angry, vengeful, male god figure.

Selu, the Corn Mother, became for me, a wise and warm, nurturing and loving female ‘god’ figure.

That simple statement holds much meaning. It would take another book to explain it in detail.

But, if you have had a similar ‘imprinting’, no explanation is necessary, I’m thinking.

And now, you know how my painting CORN MOTHER came into being and why it will NEVER be for sale!

Even though we have not kept up a correspondence, I feel a deep connection to her.  And I bet she does to me.

I am so Grateful that Marilou Awiakta followed her passion to write her poems and essays. And I am so Grateful that I followed mine, to give her my gratitude, when I did.

Here are some links to more information about Marilou Awiakta and her writing.

http://www.shepherd.edu/englweb/awiakta/awiakta.htm

http://www.ferrum.edu/applit/authors/awiakta.htm

http://www.amazon.com/Selu-Seeking-Corn-Mothers-Marilou-Awiakta/dp/1555912060

ACCIDENTAL ART

My paintings often have a mind of their own.

I think I'm painting one thing....but as I go along...something altogether different just seems to happen.

This is absolutely NOT how other people work, I don't think.  I see how precisely other people plan out a painting....doing  a careful drawing and then an underpainting, including all the components of the picture they intend to produce.  Sure, they might make some changes...some corrections...but they have a map, of sorts.  They know where they are going.

I'm sure I would benefit from following their good example.  I'm sure I would produce more paintings that are acceptable.

But, I would kind of miss the surprises that happen.

I would miss the things I learn, in spite of myself, by just letting the paint wind up where it wants to and how it wants to.  Bob Ross, rest his sweet soul, called them 'happy accidents.'

For example:

After I got my new supply of paints last week, this happened........

I had first put in a nice blue sky with a few wispy clouds...obviously a day-time scene.

But then, all kinds of vivid colors started appearing on those mountain peaks!

Wow!  That was fun!

But...now the sky has to be changed to more of a sunset kind of sky.

Lots of things have changed.

I didn't do color corrections on this photo..which explains why the sky looks absolutely turquoise in this.

Time for lunch.  And a nap.

I couldn't go to sleep, because I kept thinking about this painting and feeling really dissatisfied with it.

Suddenly I knew why.

Those mountains have a really loose feel to them.  The sky, uncomfortably, does not!  Also, the sunset colored clouds are fighting for attention with the mountains. It's just all too much.

I remember hearing a wise landscape painter say once that it is usually much better to attempt to paint the effects of sunset,  than to paint the sunset itself.

So...

I gave  up trying to nap...went back to my easel.... totally re-did the sky.

And finished the painting.

SUNSET PEAKS

16 X 20

ACRYLIC ON GALLERY WRAP CANVAS

I am so grateful for 'happy accidents.'

HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO

Today, I couldn’t stand it any more. Not for one more second.

I got hit hard by the ‘I gotta clean this mess up right now’ bug.

I was having a real good time painting until I needed to clean my palette. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was taking stuff out of cupboards and drawers and bins. I was sorting. I was tossing. I was letting go!!!!

Sometimes, in spite of my best intentions, I find myself holding on to things, way too long.

Today, I threw out a multitude of failed art projects. And some that were unfinished that I finally realized I will NEVER get back to. Why kid myself?

Ten or fifteen years ago, I used to paint scenes on cast iron bells. Ten or fifteen years ago!!!! I didn't even have all the parts for the two I had left…and yet, they’ve been sitting in the same spot in a cupboard for all this time. Why?

I painted so many of these Christmas ornaments for one customer (200 of them!) that I never wanted to paint another one again. So why am I hanging on to these? Do I really think I will get inspired someday to have another go at them?

These wooden boxes were a not-so-good idea gone very bad! They’ve been on a shelf for good two or three years now. Again, I ask myself,” Why?”

I even got hubby to go through a bunch of old computer stuff with me. We filled a trash can...

and also a box....

which will go to World Care.

Maybe some kid in a third world country will have a computer that works because of some of the paraphernalia we no longer need. I like that idea.

Before I’m done, I will have every cupboard, drawer and shelf in my studio organized and cleaned. It will be like getting a nice new box of Crayolas! It will be a very good way to start a new year, don’t you think?

I don’t know why it is so hard to let go of some things. They take up space and they take up energy. Space and energy that might be used to a much better purpose.

That statement might hold true for other things, too. Things like unhappy memories…or guilt and regret…or anger and resentment…or even expectations.

So, today, I’m letting go. And I’m making space for something new and exciting.

Let me sing with Tevye, from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF….

L'chai-im!

To Life!

To whatever life brings today…and….tomorrow!

I am grateful that each day can be a new beginning.

I am grateful to Life…for Life!

THE AWESOME TRUTH

I'm gonna paint me a picture!

A picture of a brilliant, gaudy sky

with a fireball dead center!

I'm gonna make the darkest darks you ever saw

and the brights so bright

they'll hurt your eyes!

I'm gonna wield my brush like a mighty sword

and cut through to the nitty-gritty

of the awesome truth!

I am THE CREATOR OF MY WORLD!

Name this painting.

16 x 20 acrylic on gallery wrap canvas

I am Grateful for my world!

NEVER ON SUNDAY-1/17/2010

i will blog not
on blogspot
not one jot
today.


But I will be grateful.

SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT HAITI

Whenever such a natural disaster strikes, I like many others, begin contemplating this question.

"If God is Love, then how does God allow such pain and tragedy?"

I'll tell you what I think might be the answer.

Maybe it actually isn't the answer to the question...just an idea about a different way of looking at things that might create a different question altogether.

I think us humans have a much inflated sense of our own importance in the totality of the Universe.

After all, according to most creation stories, we humans were the last to be created.  Not the first, but the last. 

Here's a couple of questions to add to the mix.

What would happen to the planet..and to the beings living on it....if any of these things suddenly disappeared.

Air
Water
Dirt
Trees
Bees

Of course, the first two sustain all life, so we'd pretty much be up the proverbial creek, as a planet, without those two things.  Except, of course, there would be no creek anywhere to be 'up.'

 How would we grow food without soil?  What would land animals eat?  There would be little plant life. Of course, soil would pretty much be worthless for growing anything without water anyway, wouldn't it.

Leave the dirt, but take away the trees.  That would have a pretty negative impact, too, before very long.

Bees are darned important in the food chain.  If they all flew to Mars, or something, again, we'd be in a world of hurt.

Now, ask another question.

What would happen to our planet if suddenly all humans disappeared?

That should make you think some. 

It sure startled my mind a bit, when I first had the thought.

Because the answer is "Nothing bad." 

Not 'nothing.' 

Just 'nothing bad.'

Our planet would be in much better shape if we didn't exist.

Isn't that a crying shame!

A wonderful Cherokee poet and essayist, Marilou Awiakta, wrote this poem.

When Earth Becomes an "It"

When the people call Earth "Mother,"

they take with love

and with love give back

so that all may live.

When the people call Earth "it,"

they use her

consume her strength.

Then the people die.

Already the sun is hot

out of season.

Our Mother's breast

is going dry.

She is taking all green

into her heart

and will not turn back

until we call her

by her name.

For more information about Marilou, go to:

http://www.ferrum.edu/applit/authors/awiakta.htm

I'm in no way suggesting that monumental events like this earthquake..or the tsunami  of last year..or the recent massively destructive hurricanes...are Mother Earth...or God.... taking retribution...punishing humans...for our treatment of our planet. 

What I am suggesting is that earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados and tsunamis are all part of the original order of the physical laws of the universe.  Human Beings are not above those laws. 

And so, when we humans make our homes on faultlines and seashores  such events should be expected and none should go about beating their breasts demanding to know why they have been forsaken by God.  It is just the physical laws of cause and effect  happening.  Nothing personal.

Does this mean I am not feeling anguished beyond belief for the pain and suffering I know people are going through?  Absolutely not.  However, every moment of every day, somewhere, someone is going through similar pain and suffering and we don't often get all emotionally involved in those smaller numbers of hurting  people, do we?  Maybe we should.

Also, it seems to me, that our Mother Earth, has been crying in pain and anguish...and pleading for our help....for a very long time....much like those poor, hurting victims in Haiti.

Let us help one another....and also, let us help Mother Earth to heal...instead of continuing to hurt her.

I am Grateful for our Mother. 

I am praying for the people of Haiti. And I sent money.  I hope you do the same.