A DAY OF BLESSINGS

I had some errands to run today. I needed to take my comforter to a Laundromat. I needed to get a haircut. I needed to try to find a pair of jeans that fit my ever enlarging belly.


But first, I had to go to the memorial outside Gabrielle Giffords’ office again.

I was just there, day before yesterday, but that didn’t seem to be enough. I needed more. More of what, I wasn’t quite sure.

But more of something.

It was immediately apparent that the mass of flowers and candles and posters and cards and teddy bears had grown substantially in the two days since my last visit. There were, perhaps, a dozen people there at the time.

I was taking in all the new additions to the memorial, when suddenly, a nearby woman looked straight at me, indicated the woman standing next to her and exclaimed, “This is Gabby’s mother!”

A lovely, diminutive, gray haired woman smiled broadly at me and affirmed, “Yes! I am Gabby’s mom!”

Her smile, nearly bigger than she is, loudly and proudly proclaimed her joy in that fact!

I stood there, for a split second, wondering what on earth I might find to say to this woman who is going through something I cannot even begin to fathom.

And then, I burst into tears.

I was immediately enveloped in a hug that seemed way too big to come from that little body. She hugged me and hugged me and patted my back and murmured soft words of comfort to ME!

I should have been comforting her but it was the other way around.

She insisted that Gabby’s family doesn’t want us to feel sorrow for them. They want us to feel no anger. Instead, they want us to rejoice and be grateful and happy and spread peace.

Before I left the house this morning, I chose a photograph of a collage I made and usually present as a card. This time, I just used the picture itself. The collage is bright and happy colors and has the words LOVE, PEACE and JOY on it.

When I showed her what I had brought, Gabby’s mom’s smile got even brighter. We visited for a few more minutes before that gracious lady left.

I felt as though I had been touched by an angel.

It’s possible that I was.

There’s more to this story, although, none of it better than those few moments I spent with Gabby’s mom.

I had noticed a young woman talking with people and writing in a notebook. I figured she was either a local reporter or a college student working on notes for a paper. Turns out, Ashley Powers is a reporter for the Los Angeles Times.

She interviewed me for a good while and though I doubt she got much worth using in a story, it was interesting to be pushed to answer questions fully. She wasn’t satisfied with my initial, off-hand responses to her questions. She kept following up until I got to the bottom line of what I was really feeling and thinking..

It was a good experience for me to get the answers to some of those questions, which I otherwise might never have asked of myself. She’s good!

Eventually, I returned to my car and my list of errands.

A favorite thrift store is in the same shopping center as my hairdresser. So, I went in to see what treasures I might find, especially looking for some larger, more comfy jeans!

I must digress here for a moment.

My beloved Lazy Boy recliner should have, long ago, been relegated to either a dump or a squatter’s camp! Replacing it has not been high on my list of ‘possibles.’ Firstly, a new one is not in the budget! Secondly, I want the same color as my old one. That color is no longer in ‘vogue’ so I didn’t think my chances of finding one I liked as well were very good.

Are you ahead of me yet? I bet you are.

Yep! A Lazy Boy recliner, which looks brand new and is the exact same color and smaller, ladies’ size as my old one, is now gracing my living room! The price?  $29.00!!!!

I was so excited I almost forgot to look for jeans. However, I found three pair that looked like they might work. Hoping at least one pair would fit, I tried them on and each and every pair was just right!

The purchase of all those items set me back a huge $34.53!   I am NOT lying to you!  On top of already ridiculously low prices, today was Senior Discount Day!!!

I got my haircut. I got my comforter washed.

I got a lottery ticket!

I figure today is, most assuredly, my day for special blessings!


Am I gratful?

You bet!

And I'm hoping each of you have a day of special blessings, just when you need it the most.

SNOW REMEMBERED

A friend recently e-mailed about the new snow which had just fallen on her mountains. Hers are the Cascades and the Siskiyous. She lives, of course, in the beautiful state of Oregon. And her mountains are uniquely breathtaking. But, then, so are the ranges near where I grew up in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I loved snow....back then. I still do, but I prefer to see it from a far distance....or even just in a photo.


Later that day, I pulled out a new canvas with no clue what I was going to paint on it. As I often do, I asked my paints........

"Who wants to come out and play?"

Alizaron Crimson was the first to put up her hand.

As you can see, 'something' tall wanted to live on the right side of this canvas. But what?

I asked for the next volunteer and ultramarine blue responded and suddenly, I knew what wanted to become a painting. I was remembering snow.....but seeing it from a comfortable distance.

Greens came out next and together, we made a spot, which still feels warm, from which to get a perfect view of those cold, cold mountain tops.

This is:

SNOW REMEMBERED

22 X 28

I am so grateful that I don't have to deal with snow and ice covered roads where I live.

I am so grateful that I can create snow where I want it....in a painting.

I am so grateful, already, for the good food we will have tomorrow.

I am so grateful for PEACE, JOY and LOVE in my life.

I am so grateful for all the wonderful friends which the internet has allowed me to know....

One of whom, inspired this painting.

ALMOST HOME

14 x 18

Where ever you are this Thanksgiving, I hope your heart feels at home.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!



HOW TO BE GRATEFUL WHEN LIFE SUCKS.

We've all been there, down in that dark valley where it seems that everything about life just sucks.....


when all we seem to be able to think about or talk about is our troubles, trials and tribulations.....

....when all we want to do is hide....and cry..........

We can choose to stay in that dark valley......

or we can decide to climb out of it, into the light.



Here's how.

Finish this sentence.



I am grateful for ________________.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

And repeat some more....on a daily basis.



If you can't find something to be grateful for, let me make some suggestions.

You are breathing.

The earth is still spinning on its' axis.

The sun is still shining...whether or not you can see its' light at the moment.

You can taste your morning coffee and it is good.

You have food to eat and the ability to chew and swallow it.

You have a bed to sleep in at night.

Get the idea?

The truth is that even if it is only such simple things as these that you manage to be grateful for, IF you will write the words....begin with five times.....every day.....the strangest and most glorious thing happens. You will begin, very soon, to find even more things to be grateful for. Do this, faithfully, for a month or two and it will become a habit. Continue doing it and one day you will realize that your life has changed. You have come up out of that dark valley and you are standly firmly in the light!

I began this practice a couple of years ago. Since then, I've had some times which would have, in the past, put me fully into that 'life sucks' mode. Once in a while, I almost go there again....but my gratitude muscle is so strong now that I don't have to think about it....I just use it. It's almost as automatic as taking my next breath.

It was my experience which led me to write that little bit which appears ALWAYS on the home page of this blog. If I could give but one gift to anyone it would be that they learn to BE GRATEFUL!

I double dog dare you to try it!


You WILL be blessed.

IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS!

It's been two whole months since I posted my last blog entry.  I can't believe that!  But, it's true.

I am going to try to be more diligent about keeping my blog current.  But I doubt I will go back to daily entries.  That turned into a job...and I'm retired....don't want no stinkin' job!  LOL

I have realized though that I miss these 'visits' with my friends, so I'm going to try to get back on track.

What have I been doing?

No surprises here.  I've been painting. 

And here's the  proof!

That blob is my waste paint.  I've been collecting it in an ice cream container for about the last 4 months.  I do this so I can properly dispose of it...eventually.  Someone, however, suggested a call it a paper weight and try to sell it. 

Somehow, I don't think anyone would shell out any cash for this.  Besides, it's not really very heavy because there's lots of air space in it, so it wouldn't make much of a paperweight.  I do find it interesting...and, for some reason, a little comical looking.

It has taken a whole lot of paintings to produce this much leftover paint.

I will try to show you what I've done since our last visit here on these pages.

I spent some time trying to learn to do  portraits.  That was great fun but probably the most difficult paintings I've ever attempted.

This is the way-too-cute son of one of my family members.

And this is the gorgeous daughter of a very dear friend of mine.

I've also done portraits of a couple of beautiful women.

This is my cousin.

And this is a very special internet friend.

Naturally, I'm still doing my favorite thing to paint....landscapes of this beautiful desert along with some 'different for me' still-lifes.

Maybe I'll show you those next time.

I know many of you have already seen these as I've posted them on my facebook page, so this hasn't been much of anything new.  Sorry about that. 

I'll try to do better next time.  ;)

I remain eternally grateful for the wondrous joy that painting has brought into my life!

I have not blogged in so long that there is way too much to try to catch up on.


First....my friend, Louise, who sometimes commented here, passed into her next Great Adventure not too long ago. But before she left us, she blessed me in a mighty way...and continues to do so.

On Monday, July 26th, 2010, she wrote this in my comments:

"This is the dawning of your life..You're ready to start the heart & soul mosaic of "Dances with Brush".... I hear Pianos, guitars,castinets....they're playing your song..its the never-ending story of the brush that could bring so much joy ."

'...ready to start the heart & soul mosaic....'


When I read those words, they indeed felt like a blessing and somehow, I recognized that she spoke a truth.

A few weeks later, her many facebook friends gathered in our special cyber-space around her and her family and held vigil for her as she passed.

During the several days this took, I joyfully...and often tearfully....worked on a special painting. One that I hoped she could feel in her soul as she made her transition. I certainly felt her Spirit with me as I painted. I kept hearing her repeat my own words back to me, which I had written in my blog of August 27, 2010....TAKE MORE CHANCES!!!!.....I did and this is the result.

ASCENSION

36 X 48

Still, I knew that I wasn't going the distance. I knew I was holding back.....staying safe.

Fast forward to yesterday.

But first, I have to lay some groundwork.

A week or so ago, I happened to catch a PBS program about painters of New Mexico. One of them was of special interest to me. I was in awe of her freedom of expression! She literally dances with her brush and canvas...only she doesn't use a brush...she uses knives and trowels! I mean the kind of trowels used by plasterers!

So....yesterday, I took myself to a high-end gallery here in Tucson. I haven't been there in over ten years. Guess who's paintings were being shown????

If you guessed the lady from the PBS program, you're a winner!

Often, I come home from visiting art galleries wondering why I don't just give all my art supplies to someone more worthy of using them. LOL Yesterday, I came home inspired by that one artist, to actually paint like no one would ever see it and to TAKE MORE CHANCES.

I have occasionally painted with a palette knife....but almost always with fear and trepidation. Yesterday, I threw all caution to the four winds and let my soul soar!

As I danced with my canvas and knife, I could almost hear Louise laughing with joy and cheering me on.

When I was finished...which didn't take very long.....I felt like I'd just been set free. And I felt full of joy! I loved the painting!

FREEDOM

24 X 36

I wondered, as I went to sleep last night, if I could possibly repeat that same freedom of expression again.

So, first thing this morning, I tried again.

FREEDOM #2

16 X 20

What you can't see in these photos is the very thick, textured paint which seems to just breathe life into them!

I am smiling in my soul.

I am grateful beyond belief.

Guess the name of the painter lady whose work inspired me?

It's Louisa.

Do you find that interesting?

I do.

Here's a link so you can see Louisa's work.


http://www.marksublettemodern.com/content/McElwainbiography.lasso










http://skayspeak.blogspot.com/

AND THEN...........

And then, I got to thinking some more.


"What if", I asked myself, "no one ever saw your paintings except you? Would you keep painting?"

Without a second's hesitation, I answered myself.

"Absolutely!"

So, I guess that pretty well settles everything. Regardless of whether I ever got another compliment...or ever had another painting sell....the only thing that would change is that I would have to figure out some place to put this ever-growing stack of paintings.

As often happens, that question led to another one.

"Self, if no one would ever see your paintings, would you paint differently? Would you paint the same subjects you do right now? Would you care if they turned out good? And who's definition of 'good' would you use to make that judgement?"

We'll get to the ansers to those questions in a minute.

But first...........l am having the idea of doing some word changes here. Let's look at these questions a little differently.

What if these were my questions?

"Self, if no one would ever see your life, would you live it differently? Would you do the same things you do right now? Would you care if it turned out good? And who's definition of 'good' would you use to make that judgement?"

Ah....Art as Life. Life as Art.

I'll have to spend some more time thinking about that little turn-around I just made.

Right now, it's back to the easy stuff.

I think, the only changes I would make regarding my painting is that I'd take more chances. I'd be willing to make more 'mistakes' in order to learn more. 'Cause it's in the correcting that I learn to do it 'right' the first time. And by 'right', I mean carrying out my vision...my intent.  Also, occasionally, taking a chance leads to something splendiforously wonderful!

And, conversely, I think that sometimes I would spend more time developing a vision-allowing my intent to become more clear in my mind BEFORE I put paint on the canvas. Then, everything would be all about the process...the actual 'being' IN the 'doing'- moment, by moment.

I might have just answered some of those 'life' questions, too.

Ya think?

So, here's what I'm taking a chance on today.  This is an un-named, unfinished  18 x 24 painting. 

And it's calling my name.

I am grateful that now I get to go dance with my brush!

WHY DO I PAINT?

This morning, I was checking out another blog by yet another fabulous artist. I'm sure I could, literally, spend days looking at one blog after another-all by artists better than me by a long shot!


Every one of those artists....and lots of the other gazillion good artists who are NOT blogging....are reaching for a sliver of art market pie. A very few actually snag a piece of said pie....and often, it is a very tiny sliver....hardly worth the effort, it would seem.

So.........the question is this:

Why do I paint when there are so many other paint pushers who are equal to-or way better than-me?

The quick, easy answer is, "Because I have to." I can no more imagine my life without painting that I can imagine surviving without my very breath.

There's lots more I could add to that. Lots of very deep psychological and spiritual influences fuel this fire in me to push paint around on a canvas.

But what I am writing about this morning is more about this question.
"Why are you, too, reaching for a slice of art market pie?

That one has a quick, easy answer, too.

"I have to sell in order to be able to buy more art supplies."

There might be some more reasons........

It could be that my depression-era parents drilled into me that it is not ok to spend so much time and money on any endeavor which doesn't have a financial return.

It could be that I need the validation from others that my art is, at least, acceptable. And that validation is provided by them handing over cold, hard cash for one of my paintings.

It could even be that something in my soul is satisfied when one of my paintings touches another so much that they just have to have it!

I know I love the compliments I often get when I show people my work. I do. I have to admit that. I also must admit that there is a little voice in my head that says, 'They're just being nice.'

But when they actually buy something....then, I believe them.

Oh...and it has to be a perfect stranger for me to get that validation I crave. When a friend pays me for my art, that little voice pipes up and says 'They wouldn't buy it if they weren't your friend.'

Deep in my heart, I feel that I should give my paintings to any friend or family member who wants it.

Oh, I'd love that!

How fun it would be to give my loved ones first pick and then just set up on the side of the road somewhere and give my stuff away to whoever wanted it! Or post it on-line with a first come-first serve give-away!

This little girl who resides inside this 65 year old body would like that. Very much!!!

SELF-PORTRAIT

8 X 10

So....I'm not sure I'm any closer to THE answer to my second question...or even if there is a 'THE ANSWER' to that question.

The only question I can answer, for sure, about this painting thing is:

"What are you going to do today?"

No matter what day it is, the answer is the same.

"I'm going to paint."

RILLITO RUNNING

18 X 24

And for that, I'm grateful!

P.S.
I'm not  positive this is going to work....but here is the link to my newest painting on Kodak.  Many of you have already seen these, but I did add three more this morning...just in case you want to have another peek.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?facebook=true&sourceId=984136008703

Most of these were done in the last couple of months....and even more that I don't have on here.  I've been busy painting...and not blogging!   ;)