HOLDING RATTLESNAKES AND GRUDGES

Once upon a time, I had the best job in the world. I loved it and I loved, truly loved, some of the people I worked with. One especially. In that job, I got to be creative and to utilize my 'gift' for finding treasures in other people's trash, among other things.


I lived, breathed, drank, ate and slept that job. There were times, when I wanted nothing more than to be able to sit in that darkened space after we closed and have a glass of wine and breathe in all the wonderfulness of it!

There was, however, a little fly in the ointment. I guess I'm mixing metaphors because I'm about to mention snakes.

Many of you have heard the story of the little boy and the rattlesnake. If not, here it is.

The Little Boy and The Rattlesnake

The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.

They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."


http://www.indigenouspeople.net/snake.htm


I pretty well knew the owner was a rattlesnake and even though I grew to care for him deeply..almost like a brother....I always stayed aware that he could coil up and strike at any time. And I wisely kept a bit of a barrier around my heart where he was concerned. I loved much about him but I sure didn't trust him.

Another person there, though, I allowed myself to truly and deeply love....and trust. I felt as though I'd found a sister...a life long friend. The day came, however, when out of the blue, she coiled and struck and I was almost knocked senseless. As a matter of fact, I was in denial about it for a long time. When 'it' happened, I didn't even recognize 'it' for what it was. I only knew that for the sake of my sanity, I had to quit that job I had loved so much. It hurt. It hurt almost as bad as anything I've experienced in my life.

I was so lost without that job and I went into a deep, dark depression.

That happened about three years ago and since then, I've had many dreams that I was still there doing my job...but always with the knowledge that_______and ______might stab me in the back at any moment. Those are not pleasant or sweet dreams, I assure you.

I have talked about this situation very little but no doubt, it was brewing in the back of my mind all the time...or I wouldn't have been having all those dreams.

All of us have felt betrayed, at one time or another...by a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend or a lover. The pain of betrayal is like no other.

A few weeks after this incident occurred, I joined Oprah's on-line study of Eckhart Tolle's book, A NEW EARTH. And I had just seen Wayne Dyer's PBS presentation of his book,THE POWER OF INTENTION.

Through the wisdom of these two men...and my own open mind and heart....I began to heal from this...and many other hurts in my life.

I have to add something here....A dear mentor turned dear friend did her best to teach me these same lessons many, many years ago. Sometimes, I'm a bit slow. But she laid a good, strong foundation in me!

Today, I know this truth. Nothing and no one can hurt us IF we recognize that only WE hold the power over whether or not we are hurt. That power does not belong to or reside in other people or things.

I also know that sometimes, it takes some time for that truth to seep into our deepest psyche and become real in our lives. Sometimes, it takes a mighty long time.

About a month ago, I dreamed that _____, the one I felt was my true sister/friend, told me how sorry she was about what happened.

Since then, I've felt more peace.

Perhaps, our Spirits spoke and came to me in my dreams to give me that sweet peace.

Another truth I know is this. Forgiveness is not something you give to somebody else. It's something you do for yourself. Holding a grudge is a lot like holding a rattlesnake. It's not good for your health, safety or peace of mind.

And I also know this, if you expect a rattlesnake to be harmless, well, you're in deep doo-doo, so maybe it's time to have a good look at reality.

I am eternally grateful for the time I had doing a job I truly loved.

I am grateful for the moments of companionship I experienced with _____and ______.

I am grateful for so many happy memories and interesting experiences.

I am even more grateful to have learned the lesson of forgiveness.

I am grateful NOT to be holding a rattlesnake!!!!!!!


YOU can be grateful that I chose NOT to include any pictures of a rattlesnake.

Instead, I'll show you my  very first African Daisy blooms of the season.

One is yellow.

One is orange. 

There'll be lots more to follow.

THINK SPRING!

and

BE

GRATEFUL!