Silently, I pray,
'Blessed be, my friend.'
May your heart be filled with peace
and may it never end.
When trouble comes upon you
It is still my prayer
That deep inside you, you will find
that blessed peace still there.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
It really isn't my fault that I forgot all about writing a blog for Friday.
It's Gini's.
She e-mailed me a really gorgeous photo of a stream in New Hampshire the other day and Thursday morning, nothing would do but I use it for one of my timed paintings. All right. That was my idea. But if she hadn't sent it to me in the first place that wouldn't have happened.
See my logic?
That's why I think it's perfectly fair to blame it all on her.
So............
Here's how the day went.
I had cropped Gini's photo to a version that appealed to me and then I set my timer for one hour because I was working on a 10 x 14 canvas.
Then....off I went.
I did this.
And this.
And this.
(I hadn't really changed the color of the sky, I just took this photo in bad light.)
And then the phone rang. It was my cousin. We yakked and yakked and yakked and laughed. 'Cause that's what we do. But I just kept right on painting while we yakked and laughed.
Just before the timer went off I decided it was done.
Not done RIGHT, of course, just DONE.
It looked like this.
The photo was on my computer monitor...about 12 feet away from my easel. That explains why the painting isn't closer to the actual photo. But for my timed paintings, that shouldn't matter at all. The whole point is to get the basics in and to zero in on what grabbed my eye.
I sure wish I'd remembered that at the time because............
What happened next just ticks me off!
I got to looking more closely at my version of Gini's photo and started trying to make the painting look more like that.
I wish there was a really loud, unpleasant sounding buzzer that would go off in my head when I start doing such a thing! Or some weird appendage of my body which would start knocking me upside the head when I start doing that!! Or some art muse, sitting on my shoulder, yelling "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING? " when I start doing that!!!
But I just went right ahead 'fixing' stuff that didn't need fixing until I had made quite a mess!
Next thing that happened....I hesitate to tell you about...but I will.
Remember my hubby? The guy who got me started painting?
He hasn't picked up a paintbrush since then and yet he came into the studio and started telling me what I needed to do about this and that in the painting.
And what did I do?
Well, I fell, face first, into a big stinky puddle of people-pleasin' poop and made some more messes!
Thanks a lot, hubby!
The more I 'fixed' the more frustrated I got...
and the more obsessed I became....
and the more rigid I got in my paint application.....
and the more frustrated I got...........
Got the picture?
See why it's all Gini's fault?
Of course, I should also let hubby share some of that blame, don't you think?
Here's what I finally wound up with before I finally got sense enough to leave it alone...for now.
I am so grateful that I feel perfectly fine about blaming my problems on other people when it suits me.
It is much easier than holding myself accountable, don't you agree?
It's Gini's.
She e-mailed me a really gorgeous photo of a stream in New Hampshire the other day and Thursday morning, nothing would do but I use it for one of my timed paintings. All right. That was my idea. But if she hadn't sent it to me in the first place that wouldn't have happened.
See my logic?
So............
Here's how the day went.
I had cropped Gini's photo to a version that appealed to me and then I set my timer for one hour because I was working on a 10 x 14 canvas.
Then....off I went.
I did this.
And this.
And this.
(I hadn't really changed the color of the sky, I just took this photo in bad light.)
And then the phone rang. It was my cousin. We yakked and yakked and yakked and laughed. 'Cause that's what we do. But I just kept right on painting while we yakked and laughed.
Just before the timer went off I decided it was done.
Not done RIGHT, of course, just DONE.
It looked like this.
The photo was on my computer monitor...about 12 feet away from my easel. That explains why the painting isn't closer to the actual photo. But for my timed paintings, that shouldn't matter at all. The whole point is to get the basics in and to zero in on what grabbed my eye.
I sure wish I'd remembered that at the time because............
What happened next just ticks me off!
I got to looking more closely at my version of Gini's photo and started trying to make the painting look more like that.
I wish there was a really loud, unpleasant sounding buzzer that would go off in my head when I start doing such a thing! Or some weird appendage of my body which would start knocking me upside the head when I start doing that!! Or some art muse, sitting on my shoulder, yelling "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING? " when I start doing that!!!
But I just went right ahead 'fixing' stuff that didn't need fixing until I had made quite a mess!
Next thing that happened....I hesitate to tell you about...but I will.
Remember my hubby? The guy who got me started painting?
He hasn't picked up a paintbrush since then and yet he came into the studio and started telling me what I needed to do about this and that in the painting.
And what did I do?
Well, I fell, face first, into a big stinky puddle of people-pleasin' poop and made some more messes!
Thanks a lot, hubby!
The more I 'fixed' the more frustrated I got...
and the more obsessed I became....
and the more rigid I got in my paint application.....
and the more frustrated I got...........
Got the picture?
See why it's all Gini's fault?
Of course, I should also let hubby share some of that blame, don't you think?
Here's what I finally wound up with before I finally got sense enough to leave it alone...for now.
I am so grateful that I feel perfectly fine about blaming my problems on other people when it suits me.
It is much easier than holding myself accountable, don't you agree?
Friday, March 5, 2010
NADA
OH CRAP!
It is 5:22 on Thursday evening. I was just e-mailing Gini when I realized I had nothing ready for this blog on this day!!!!!
Nothing!
Nada!
Zilch!
Zero!
And guess what?
I decided I just don't want to do a blog tonight.
So instead of doing this.......
I'm going to pour myself a glass of wine and do this.........
It is 5:22 on Thursday evening. I was just e-mailing Gini when I realized I had nothing ready for this blog on this day!!!!!
Nothing!
Nada!
Zilch!
Zero!
And guess what?
I decided I just don't want to do a blog tonight.
So instead of doing this.......
I'm going to pour myself a glass of wine and do this.........
OK...I admit...I already poured the wine.........
And before too long, I'll take a lovely bath with my new wonderful home-made soap provided to me by my sweet friend, Cate...and then I'll do this......
Can you believe I have these pictures already taken just waiting for the day I might need them for my blog?
Bloggers are a little nuts, in that way.
Anywho.......
I ain't bloggin' today!
So
There!
I am so grateful that this is my blog and I can blog...or NOT....
If I want to!!!!!!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
HOLDING RATTLESNAKES AND GRUDGES
Once upon a time, I had the best job in the world. I loved it and I loved, truly loved, some of the people I worked with. One especially. In that job, I got to be creative and to utilize my 'gift' for finding treasures in other people's trash, among other things.
I lived, breathed, drank, ate and slept that job. There were times, when I wanted nothing more than to be able to sit in that darkened space after we closed and have a glass of wine and breathe in all the wonderfulness of it!
There was, however, a little fly in the ointment. I guess I'm mixing metaphors because I'm about to mention snakes.
Many of you have heard the story of the little boy and the rattlesnake. If not, here it is.
The Little Boy and The Rattlesnake
The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.
They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.
He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."
http://www.indigenouspeople.net/snake.htm
I pretty well knew the owner was a rattlesnake and even though I grew to care for him deeply..almost like a brother....I always stayed aware that he could coil up and strike at any time. And I wisely kept a bit of a barrier around my heart where he was concerned. I loved much about him but I sure didn't trust him.
Another person there, though, I allowed myself to truly and deeply love....and trust. I felt as though I'd found a sister...a life long friend. The day came, however, when out of the blue, she coiled and struck and I was almost knocked senseless. As a matter of fact, I was in denial about it for a long time. When 'it' happened, I didn't even recognize 'it' for what it was. I only knew that for the sake of my sanity, I had to quit that job I had loved so much. It hurt. It hurt almost as bad as anything I've experienced in my life.
I was so lost without that job and I went into a deep, dark depression.
That happened about three years ago and since then, I've had many dreams that I was still there doing my job...but always with the knowledge that_______and ______might stab me in the back at any moment. Those are not pleasant or sweet dreams, I assure you.
I have talked about this situation very little but no doubt, it was brewing in the back of my mind all the time...or I wouldn't have been having all those dreams.
All of us have felt betrayed, at one time or another...by a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend or a lover. The pain of betrayal is like no other.
A few weeks after this incident occurred, I joined Oprah's on-line study of Eckhart Tolle's book, A NEW EARTH. And I had just seen Wayne Dyer's PBS presentation of his book,THE POWER OF INTENTION.
Through the wisdom of these two men...and my own open mind and heart....I began to heal from this...and many other hurts in my life.
I have to add something here....A dear mentor turned dear friend did her best to teach me these same lessons many, many years ago. Sometimes, I'm a bit slow. But she laid a good, strong foundation in me!
Today, I know this truth. Nothing and no one can hurt us IF we recognize that only WE hold the power over whether or not we are hurt. That power does not belong to or reside in other people or things.
I also know that sometimes, it takes some time for that truth to seep into our deepest psyche and become real in our lives. Sometimes, it takes a mighty long time.
About a month ago, I dreamed that _____, the one I felt was my true sister/friend, told me how sorry she was about what happened.
Since then, I've felt more peace.
Perhaps, our Spirits spoke and came to me in my dreams to give me that sweet peace.
Another truth I know is this. Forgiveness is not something you give to somebody else. It's something you do for yourself. Holding a grudge is a lot like holding a rattlesnake. It's not good for your health, safety or peace of mind.
And I also know this, if you expect a rattlesnake to be harmless, well, you're in deep doo-doo, so maybe it's time to have a good look at reality.
I am eternally grateful for the time I had doing a job I truly loved.
I am grateful for the moments of companionship I experienced with _____and ______.
I am grateful for so many happy memories and interesting experiences.
I am even more grateful to have learned the lesson of forgiveness.
I am grateful NOT to be holding a rattlesnake!!!!!!!
YOU can be grateful that I chose NOT to include any pictures of a rattlesnake.
Instead, I'll show you my very first African Daisy blooms of the season.
One is yellow.
One is orange.
I lived, breathed, drank, ate and slept that job. There were times, when I wanted nothing more than to be able to sit in that darkened space after we closed and have a glass of wine and breathe in all the wonderfulness of it!
There was, however, a little fly in the ointment. I guess I'm mixing metaphors because I'm about to mention snakes.
Many of you have heard the story of the little boy and the rattlesnake. If not, here it is.
The Little Boy and The Rattlesnake
The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.
They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.
He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."
http://www.indigenouspeople.net/snake.htm
I pretty well knew the owner was a rattlesnake and even though I grew to care for him deeply..almost like a brother....I always stayed aware that he could coil up and strike at any time. And I wisely kept a bit of a barrier around my heart where he was concerned. I loved much about him but I sure didn't trust him.
Another person there, though, I allowed myself to truly and deeply love....and trust. I felt as though I'd found a sister...a life long friend. The day came, however, when out of the blue, she coiled and struck and I was almost knocked senseless. As a matter of fact, I was in denial about it for a long time. When 'it' happened, I didn't even recognize 'it' for what it was. I only knew that for the sake of my sanity, I had to quit that job I had loved so much. It hurt. It hurt almost as bad as anything I've experienced in my life.
I was so lost without that job and I went into a deep, dark depression.
That happened about three years ago and since then, I've had many dreams that I was still there doing my job...but always with the knowledge that_______and ______might stab me in the back at any moment. Those are not pleasant or sweet dreams, I assure you.
I have talked about this situation very little but no doubt, it was brewing in the back of my mind all the time...or I wouldn't have been having all those dreams.
All of us have felt betrayed, at one time or another...by a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend or a lover. The pain of betrayal is like no other.
A few weeks after this incident occurred, I joined Oprah's on-line study of Eckhart Tolle's book, A NEW EARTH. And I had just seen Wayne Dyer's PBS presentation of his book,THE POWER OF INTENTION.
Through the wisdom of these two men...and my own open mind and heart....I began to heal from this...and many other hurts in my life.
I have to add something here....A dear mentor turned dear friend did her best to teach me these same lessons many, many years ago. Sometimes, I'm a bit slow. But she laid a good, strong foundation in me!
Today, I know this truth. Nothing and no one can hurt us IF we recognize that only WE hold the power over whether or not we are hurt. That power does not belong to or reside in other people or things.
I also know that sometimes, it takes some time for that truth to seep into our deepest psyche and become real in our lives. Sometimes, it takes a mighty long time.
About a month ago, I dreamed that _____, the one I felt was my true sister/friend, told me how sorry she was about what happened.
Since then, I've felt more peace.
Perhaps, our Spirits spoke and came to me in my dreams to give me that sweet peace.
Another truth I know is this. Forgiveness is not something you give to somebody else. It's something you do for yourself. Holding a grudge is a lot like holding a rattlesnake. It's not good for your health, safety or peace of mind.
And I also know this, if you expect a rattlesnake to be harmless, well, you're in deep doo-doo, so maybe it's time to have a good look at reality.
I am eternally grateful for the time I had doing a job I truly loved.
I am grateful for the moments of companionship I experienced with _____and ______.
I am grateful for so many happy memories and interesting experiences.
I am even more grateful to have learned the lesson of forgiveness.
I am grateful NOT to be holding a rattlesnake!!!!!!!
YOU can be grateful that I chose NOT to include any pictures of a rattlesnake.
Instead, I'll show you my very first African Daisy blooms of the season.
One is yellow.
There'll be lots more to follow.
THINK SPRING!
and
BE
GRATEFUL!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
AN OCCASIONAL RIVER
Remember this?
Well......after this weekend's rain, this is what it looked like this morning, Monday, March 1st.
I really had a hard time trying to figure out what to look at.
The river....
or the snow covered mountains.
River.
Mountains.
Luckily it was easy to do both.
I followed the walkway under the highway. It's spooky underneath there.
The river widens out in this area, so there's lots of muddy mess and things which have gotten washed away....like this red shopping cart.....
and this silver one.
I know that looks really unattractive but on the way back to my car, I noticed this big old cottonwood tree putting on it's pretty spring green leaves already!
And talk about green! I have no idea what kind of tree this is...but green, it is!
I left this side of the river and drove to the other side to have a look around and was thusly admonished.
I don't think they meant this little critter.
Or his little buddy.
From this viewpoint, I got a good picture of the mountain range to our west, which I have never shown you.
Just beyond those mountains is Old Tucson Studios and if you've ever seen a John Wayne movie, you've probably seen the other side of those mountains. They are called, unimaginatively, the Tucson Mountains.
I spent a pleasant hour walking along the river in the nice warm sunshine. So did lots of others and many of them were dressed in shorts and t-shirts. As lovely as it was, eventually I had to head home.
Adios you beautiful mountains.
Adios Rillito River.
I am so grateful for:
1. My old car which takes me on these little treks.
2. The new battery which means my car will actually start.
3. My little Kodak camera.
4. These lovely mountains.
5. This occasional river.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
FULL MOON ON SATURDAY
It was Saturday, February 27, 2010
After supper, I stepped outside and saw something which astonished and astounded me and nearly knocked me to my knees from the sheer beauty of it!
The moon was full and she was wearing a red and gold embroidered shawl.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
Of course, I grabbed my camera and once more longed for one which would take better quality pictures. I knew, from previous experiences during manic mood madness that there was no way I could capture what my eyes were seeing with my point and shoot camera. As much as I love and appreciate it, my camera definitely has its limitations.
Nevertheless, I pointed and shot!
And look what I got!!!! Granted, these pictures are not true representatives of what I was seeing with my human eyes. But I bet you can get an idea from them that it was one magnificent sight to see!
Besides, the pictures are just flat cool, aren't they?
I played around with some editing on this one. That's a palm tree on the left. Actually the red and gold clouds actually did look very much like this.
Remember what I've said....take a chance...take a picture even if you're pretty sure it won't turn out...what've you got to lose? You might wind up with something really interesting and fun!
After supper, I stepped outside and saw something which astonished and astounded me and nearly knocked me to my knees from the sheer beauty of it!
The moon was full and she was wearing a red and gold embroidered shawl.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
Of course, I grabbed my camera and once more longed for one which would take better quality pictures. I knew, from previous experiences during manic mood madness that there was no way I could capture what my eyes were seeing with my point and shoot camera. As much as I love and appreciate it, my camera definitely has its limitations.
Nevertheless, I pointed and shot!
And look what I got!!!! Granted, these pictures are not true representatives of what I was seeing with my human eyes. But I bet you can get an idea from them that it was one magnificent sight to see!
Besides, the pictures are just flat cool, aren't they?
I played around with some editing on this one. That's a palm tree on the left. Actually the red and gold clouds actually did look very much like this.
I didn't play around any with this one.
Remember what I've said....take a chance...take a picture even if you're pretty sure it won't turn out...what've you got to lose? You might wind up with something really interesting and fun!
****************
Yes, I've been painting but I must admit I've sort of fallen off the wagon as far as the timed painting exercise in concerned. The last two I've attempted have turned into regular paintings. One, was of the lady selling flowers at Barrio Del Mundo in San Diego. Another was from a photo of my first born when he was about 4 or 5 playing in a stream in Northern New Mexico. I am calling this one.....
"INTREPID EXPLORER"
9 x 12 acrylic on canvas
And finally, my new artist friend and I didn't get to meet on Sunday. It was pouring down a torrential cold rain and besides, she had come down with a sore throat and considerately chose not to share it with me.
I am grateful for her good sense!
Monday, March 1, 2010
CRISIS AVERTED
Saturday's news sounded ominous. All day long.
And in spite of the fact that many precious to their families' lives were lost, and an enormous amount of damage was done, we could breathe a collective sigh of relief that we didn't have another "Haiti" situation to deal with, worry over, pray for, light candles for, raise money for....etc.... etc....
The big tsunami waves didn't come to our shores. We 'dodged a bullet.'
Still.........
If the ground is solid beneath our feet.....
If the house we live in is sound....
If the water is still running through our pipes....
If electricity is still lighting our dark...and powering our computers and televisions and telephones...
If we can know that every member of our family is safe.....
We should...
And in spite of the fact that many precious to their families' lives were lost, and an enormous amount of damage was done, we could breathe a collective sigh of relief that we didn't have another "Haiti" situation to deal with, worry over, pray for, light candles for, raise money for....etc.... etc....
The big tsunami waves didn't come to our shores. We 'dodged a bullet.'
Still.........
If the ground is solid beneath our feet.....
If the house we live in is sound....
If the water is still running through our pipes....
If electricity is still lighting our dark...and powering our computers and televisions and telephones...
If we can know that every member of our family is safe.....
We should...
And, perhaps we should also remember that the people in Haiti are still suffering in a way we probably cannot possibly understand.
And perhaps, we should continue to worry over, pray for, light candles for, raise funds for....etc., etc.,....all our brothers and sisters in Haiti.
Well, maybe not worry...that serves no purpose whatsoever, does it?
But praying for them.....lighting candles for them....sending thoughts of light and love....and sending money, too, maybe..........yes...all that, maybe we still need to be doing ALL that.
Haiti is no longer the news of the day.
Let's not forget, however, their suffering has not ended.
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