AND THEN...........

And then, I got to thinking some more.


"What if", I asked myself, "no one ever saw your paintings except you? Would you keep painting?"

Without a second's hesitation, I answered myself.

"Absolutely!"

So, I guess that pretty well settles everything. Regardless of whether I ever got another compliment...or ever had another painting sell....the only thing that would change is that I would have to figure out some place to put this ever-growing stack of paintings.

As often happens, that question led to another one.

"Self, if no one would ever see your paintings, would you paint differently? Would you paint the same subjects you do right now? Would you care if they turned out good? And who's definition of 'good' would you use to make that judgement?"

We'll get to the ansers to those questions in a minute.

But first...........l am having the idea of doing some word changes here. Let's look at these questions a little differently.

What if these were my questions?

"Self, if no one would ever see your life, would you live it differently? Would you do the same things you do right now? Would you care if it turned out good? And who's definition of 'good' would you use to make that judgement?"

Ah....Art as Life. Life as Art.

I'll have to spend some more time thinking about that little turn-around I just made.

Right now, it's back to the easy stuff.

I think, the only changes I would make regarding my painting is that I'd take more chances. I'd be willing to make more 'mistakes' in order to learn more. 'Cause it's in the correcting that I learn to do it 'right' the first time. And by 'right', I mean carrying out my vision...my intent.  Also, occasionally, taking a chance leads to something splendiforously wonderful!

And, conversely, I think that sometimes I would spend more time developing a vision-allowing my intent to become more clear in my mind BEFORE I put paint on the canvas. Then, everything would be all about the process...the actual 'being' IN the 'doing'- moment, by moment.

I might have just answered some of those 'life' questions, too.

Ya think?

So, here's what I'm taking a chance on today.  This is an un-named, unfinished  18 x 24 painting. 

And it's calling my name.

I am grateful that now I get to go dance with my brush!

WHY DO I PAINT?

This morning, I was checking out another blog by yet another fabulous artist. I'm sure I could, literally, spend days looking at one blog after another-all by artists better than me by a long shot!


Every one of those artists....and lots of the other gazillion good artists who are NOT blogging....are reaching for a sliver of art market pie. A very few actually snag a piece of said pie....and often, it is a very tiny sliver....hardly worth the effort, it would seem.

So.........the question is this:

Why do I paint when there are so many other paint pushers who are equal to-or way better than-me?

The quick, easy answer is, "Because I have to." I can no more imagine my life without painting that I can imagine surviving without my very breath.

There's lots more I could add to that. Lots of very deep psychological and spiritual influences fuel this fire in me to push paint around on a canvas.

But what I am writing about this morning is more about this question.
"Why are you, too, reaching for a slice of art market pie?

That one has a quick, easy answer, too.

"I have to sell in order to be able to buy more art supplies."

There might be some more reasons........

It could be that my depression-era parents drilled into me that it is not ok to spend so much time and money on any endeavor which doesn't have a financial return.

It could be that I need the validation from others that my art is, at least, acceptable. And that validation is provided by them handing over cold, hard cash for one of my paintings.

It could even be that something in my soul is satisfied when one of my paintings touches another so much that they just have to have it!

I know I love the compliments I often get when I show people my work. I do. I have to admit that. I also must admit that there is a little voice in my head that says, 'They're just being nice.'

But when they actually buy something....then, I believe them.

Oh...and it has to be a perfect stranger for me to get that validation I crave. When a friend pays me for my art, that little voice pipes up and says 'They wouldn't buy it if they weren't your friend.'

Deep in my heart, I feel that I should give my paintings to any friend or family member who wants it.

Oh, I'd love that!

How fun it would be to give my loved ones first pick and then just set up on the side of the road somewhere and give my stuff away to whoever wanted it! Or post it on-line with a first come-first serve give-away!

This little girl who resides inside this 65 year old body would like that. Very much!!!

SELF-PORTRAIT

8 X 10

So....I'm not sure I'm any closer to THE answer to my second question...or even if there is a 'THE ANSWER' to that question.

The only question I can answer, for sure, about this painting thing is:

"What are you going to do today?"

No matter what day it is, the answer is the same.

"I'm going to paint."

RILLITO RUNNING

18 X 24

And for that, I'm grateful!

P.S.
I'm not  positive this is going to work....but here is the link to my newest painting on Kodak.  Many of you have already seen these, but I did add three more this morning...just in case you want to have another peek.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?facebook=true&sourceId=984136008703

Most of these were done in the last couple of months....and even more that I don't have on here.  I've been busy painting...and not blogging!   ;)

A GOOD DAY

It's a good day today....a glorious day, as a matter of fact!

I'm writing this on Sunday.

The neighborhood is blessedly quiet.

The temperature is quite comfortable.

The clouds are keeping the hot sun at bay.

There's a gentle, cooling breeze.

I have been in my studio all morning with the doors wide open.

Lovely!

And.............

It's a good day because I've had a couple of  days of productive painting.

And one magical experience when the canvas seemed to bloom into a painting, right before my eyes!

I nearly cried in joy and gratitude.

It is for those moments I paint.  It's as if the heavens open up and shower artistic blessings on me...in abundance!

....and the angels sing..........

I went to Brandon's new studio-apartment one day last week.  The building is so happy looking, I just had to paint it.

Here it is.

#103

11 x 14 on canvas

I love the brightly colored buildings in Tucson.  Isn't that chartreuse fabulous?

When I had finished that painting, I was left with remnants of chartreuse, blue, black and white paint on my palette.  So, I thought I'd play with making some desert greys...and also to try to make a painting 'be' something recognizable with little, or no, details.

I put spots and splotches and streaks of paint on this little 5 x 7 masonite panel and I quite like how it turned out.

After I put the final touch of ochre paint on this one, I wanted to try another painting in which I would make a real effort to simplify, simplify, SIMPLIFY!

I searched through my photos and found one I thought might work.

This is when the magic happened.

RAIN ON THE CHIRACAHUAS

18 X 24 on canvas

There's one more..........

I painted this one several weeks ago.  I had it 'done'....or so I thought....

Today, I saw some ways to improve upon what I had and I really like it, now.

CANYON RIVER

9 X 12 on masonite board

It has been a really good day!

And now, it's time for a nap.

I will go to sleep counting my blessings!

WORTH THE WAIT

It's monsoon in Tucson.

That's when the heat-weary inhabitants can be observed, throughout the day, scanning the skies in hopes of seeing rain coming their way.

I got petulant last week about the lack of rain at our house....so, I painted this. 

Paint it and it will come.

At least,  that was my hope, my intention and my prayer!

WAITING

18 X 24

We finally got several decent showers at our house. 

I'm taking full credit.

Of course, this probably helped.

Look what happens when it rains!

This is my Texas Ranger.  Most of the year, it's a rather dull grey-green, non-descript bush.

  But when it rains!  Oh my!

It explodes into a cloud of lavender blossoms. 

It smells like heaven!

If you look real close, up near the top, you can see a bee getting drunk on nectar!

At this time of year, lots of days I ask myself,

Why on earth do you live in this hotternhell country?

Then the magic of rain on the desert happens......

and I know why.

And I am grateful!

SPOILED ROTTEN!!!

It's HOT!



It's that time of year, on the Sonoran Desert, when the heat and humidity are opressive.


We just had another go-round with a sewer back up which left us without a working toilet for two da_ _ days!


Combine those two facts and imagine what you will.


It was NOT a pretty picture!


However..............


I was watching some CNN coverage of current conditions in Haiti and my state of mind got adjusted.


I was watching tv in my 10' X 26' studio.


With an air conditioner.


With four solid walls.


With a faucet which gives me safe, fresh water whenever I want it.


With windows which let in the light.


With screens which keep the bugs out.


My studio....just those 260 square feet of space....would be pure luxury to any of the poor souls in this world who are living...every day...with none of those listed 'ammenities.'


Including a working toilet....EVER!

I am spoiled.


And


I have NOTHING to complain about!

And


I am

GRATEFUL.

THE DOLDRUMS

I am in my annual pre-monsoon doldrums.

This is the one part of the year when I ask myself,

"Self, why in the hell do you live in Tucson?"

Self doesn't have enough energy to answer.

My major activity is to occasionally drag my over-heated body to the front yard to see what I can see to the south of us.

Then, to the back yard to check conditions there.

This looks promising.

Alas, it was nothing but empty promises.

Our house is 'cooled' by what is known as a 'swamp cooler.'  It works beautifully, untill the humidity reaches about 20% and then it is basically nothing more than a fan for your whole house. 

A not very effective fan.

So, we spend a lot of time here.

Occasionally, we will open our doors wide to catch even the smallest breeze.

Top:  Miss Daisy-yes, she has grown up!
Bottom:  Codi-yes, she finally accepted Miss Daisy.

The cats are demonstrating how I spend most of my time these days. 
Laying around.  (I know it's 'lying' around.  I'm from uneducated stock. That's how we talk.)
Doing nothing.
Becoming an expert on all things HGTV.

I want rain! 

A big, thunder-booming, lightening-flashing, downpour!

I want my street to be filled, curb-to-curb, by a veritable torrent of water!

I want to stop being jealous envious as all get out, when my friend e-mails me from Texas and says, "It's raining again...and it is so nice and cool!"

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The studio has a real air conditioner!  I can make it darn near cold out here, if I wish.  The only thing is, it never really feels cold.  It is just less hot.  Partly, it's because when I paint, I am standing directly beneath a four foot shop light, which, of course, gives off  H.E.A.T.  

So, I don't even want to paint.

'BIG' is coming along.  I have made some major changes on it and have more to do, but I just can't seem to make myself do it. 

Or anything else, for that matter.

Yesterday afternoon, I saw this....way off in the distance.

I am going to take that as a promise that it WILL rain....eventually!

Meanwhile, I am trying to remember what THIS felt like!

I am grateful for HGTV.

I am grateful for my recliner.

I am grateful for our ice-maker.

I am grateful for the ice cream in the freezer.

I am grateful that eventually the rains will come....

I am grateful that eventually the humidity will go....

And once again, I will feel

Grateful to live in Tucson, Arizona!

BIG!!

That's what this is.

48" tall by 64" wide, to be exact.

Brandon talked me into buying it from him because he needs to make more space in his own studio. I'll admit, it was pretty easy for him to talk me into it.

I had no idea what I'd do with it but I figured it would tell me...eventually.  And it did.  This is my CANYON DREAM....in progress.

It is based on one of my favorite places on planet Earth, Canyon de Chelley, on the Navajo Reservation in Northeastern Arizona.  I've never been down into the canyon, only up on the rim.  Some day, I'd love to go on a canyon tour, but until then, my dream painting will just have to do.

What I have found amazing is that painting these big canvases is much easier, in many ways, than painting a smaller one.  I am less constrained by space and therefore I am less constrained in the painting of it.  It's just downright fun!

My biggest struggle with this painting has nothing to do with the size.  It's all about my ineffective, incorrect and inept use of the color green!  Virtually all the greens are just too 'green.'  And it ain't easy being green, as Kermit the Frog so wisely told us.  I am thinking that perhaps this monster painting will be the very thing to break me from my wrong thinking regarding the color green.  I sure hope so!

My friend, Lori e-mailed me yesterday morning and asked if Iwanted to accompany her and her sister, Susan and sister's friend, Mary (visiting Tucson from Canada) on a little jaunt to have a Sonoran Hot Dog.  I am thinking that a Mexican Hot Dog is about the only thing with enough power to entice me out of my studio and away from a.  my big painting...and b.  the air conditioner going at full blast.

I said 'YES!!!' with no hesitation. 

And ate two of them...with no hesitation!

While we were out, we decided to do a little tourist-y sight seeing.  We took a short drive through part of  Barrio Viejo 

click here

 and then a longer drive out over Gate's Pass.

That was especially fun because my last painting, just before I started my BIG one, was of Gate's Pass.

The good food, good fun and the heat just wiped me out and I took a lovely, long nap after I got home.  I awoke to...........................drum roll please!

RAIN!!!!!!!

Not much of a rain...but enough to make the air smell sweet and to cool things off a bit....and to make beautiful music on my tin-roofed patio.   It's time for our rainy season, so I'm hoping we get lots more.

And, I am hoping that you find as much to be grateful for as I'm finding these days. 

A B.I.G. canvas to play on
and
R.A.I.N.