AWAY

I had to go 'away' for a few days.

I was working on something special and I couldn't trust myself not to blab about it, so I just had to stay away from here!

Last year, about this same time, my grandson came for a visit and as I've written about here, we took a wonderful trip up to The Grand Canyon and Monument Valley and some other special places in Northern Arizona.

At one point, he scared the daylights out of me by disappearing down a trail that seemed to lead to nowhere.  Eventually, he showed up....way out in the distance....literally on a 'point.'  Of course, I took his picture.  Over and over I have looked at that photo and thought that I might want to paint it.

A few days ago, I realized his birthday was coming up.  So, I buckled down and got to painting it.

Today is his birthday.  I posted the painting on his facebook wall.  I hope he likes it.

Of course, I'm not satisfied with it.  But, for now, this is what it is.

That time with Michael, in those very special places, will always be one of my life experiences that I am the most grateful for.

I love you, Michael!

Happy Birthday.

G-Ma

ACT ON THE IDEA

I had this weird idea.

That isn't uncommon.

But what IS uncommon is that the next morning, these words came into my psyche.

"Act on the idea."

I will NOT be ignoring that.

Last time I ignored such a 'voice', I fell and shattered my wrist immediately afterward.

So, I'm putting together something pretty different for me.

I have had, for years, a collection of vintage kitchen cabinet doors. I've done all kinds of projects with them. My 'weird' idea will use another of these old doors. And some pieces of birthday gift wrap paper. And bubble wrap. And those glass 'rocks'. I have no idea what they are called but they are available in craft stores and come in all kinds of colors and they are shaped rather like peanuts....some are circles.

My weird piece is, apparently, about circles and other rounded shapes. I wonder how this will turn out.

***********************

This is how it turned out.

There's lots of shiny stuff on here so there's lots of glare for the camera to deal with.

It sorta looks like something you'd find in a frog pond, doesn't it?

My readers who were fellow participants in Oprah's on-line A NEW EARTH study will find much meaning in that.  The rest of you will possibly be left scratching your head.

Especially when I sign off thusly.

Ribbitt!

I am grateful for the beloved Frog Pond!

SATURDAY MORNING

Most mornings, I am painting before I've finished my first cup of coffee. Before I'm dressed. Before I've had breakfast. Before my brain wakes up.


Some mornings, I have about as much desire to paint as I have to clean the house. Today is one of those mornings.

I am asking myself,

"Self, what do you want to do, if not paint?"

Self is not answering as of yet.



**************************************



One more cup of coffer later:

Self may be giving me a hint.

I recently made a decision that I simply do not like painting with oils. Acrylics are a much better fit for my patience factor.

But what to do with all that mess of oil paints...a LOT of oil paints! I tried to give them to Brandon, but he declared himself to be a paint snob and mine were simply not good enough for him. Harrumph!

Happily, I found someone...another plebian, like I....who gratefully accepted them. Brandon did take away my half-full container of very expensive Turpenoid. That leaves me with only a motley collection of old uncompleted oil paintings which I kept telling myself I would finish 'one day.'

Walking by my storage area this morning, I wondered just how many of such paintings I had taking up space. I started pulling out paintings. Before I knew it, I had a pile of them, which I can dispose of. I'll rip those canvases off the stretcher bars and perhaps, get paint snob Brandon to make me some new canvases for them. Unless, of course, they fall beneath his very high standards and he refuses to do so.

Which he might.

There are other things taking up space in my studio which I will probably never use again.

Instead of painting today, I just might have a clean up and clear out marathon day.

I might be left with an empty cupboard. If so, I can eliminate one piece of furniture from this overcrowded studio.

That would be a good thing as Sir Brandon has talked me into getting a really huge.....HUGE....canvas from him because he is trying to clear out his own studio space.

I am also having thoughts of making some other more drastic changes in this room.

But first, I'm going to ask Self what she thinks of my ideas.

I'll let you know what she says.

***********************

She said, "Go for it!"

So, I did.

***********************

Eight hours later:

I am tired.

And I am grateful for a cleaned up, cleared out, much more usable studio space!

MY NEW 'RELIGION'

For several years, I spent a great deal of time reading spiritually enlightening books and participating in on-line discussions of them.  I loved it.  It was a beautiful time of awakening and expansion.

I might do that again, someday.  But for now, I am slavishly following a new guru.

Me.

Yep.  That's right.  I said "Me."

"Me" says, "Follow your bliss."
"Me" says, "Seek out...and create...as much joy as you possibly can."
"Me" says,  "Never, ever forget to BE GRATEFUL.
"Me" says, "If you listen to "Me" you will BE what and who you were created to Be."

And peace, love and joy will follow you all the days of your life."

WASTE NOT?

Sunday morning, I got out a small masonite panel and started playing with paint again, as I love to do.

This time, I squeezed paint directly onto the board and then moved it around with a broad palette knife.

It was fun to see what color combinations developed and what effects can be achieved.

What I ended up with was not at all satisfying to look at.  It's rather dark and foreboding...not in a artistic dramatic way...just

YUCKY!

Trust me when I tell you that it looks better in the photo than it real life.  The blue is not so blue...it's almost black.

But....it does have potential to turn into something interesting, I think.

I am so grateful to have gotten to a place in my creative process where I don't consider it a 'bad' thing to 'waste' paint.  Paint is like money....To serve the highest good...it needs to be spread around freely instead of with a miserly hand. 

Like joy. 

Like kindness. 

Like smiles.

Like love.

I send you all my kindest thoughts of love, accompanied by a joyful smile!  :)

IN SEARCH OF JOY

The other day, I overheard a conversation between two people I know fairly well. It was déjà vu, all over again...as Yogi Berra said. (I think)


These two repeat the same ol', same ol' every time they talk with each other. It's always a re-hash of all the bad family memories they have. In truth, they have more than their fair share of 'bad' family memories. Most of us do have, at least, our 'fair' share of similar stories. But those two seem to 'live' in their old bad stories!

I got to thinking about why I don't indulge in the same fruitless conversations.

And I think I figured it out. It's not that I'm smarter or nicer. It's not because of all those 'self help' books I've read-although I have been tremendously helped by all of them. It's not because I don't have any bad memories. I do. And I could, I guess, spend more of my time concentrating on those memories.

It's simply because what I concentrate on is something that brings so much joy to my life that I just can't be bothered with anything that doesn't.

I haven't always been that way, I assure you.

But today, and every day now, I have INTENTION to experience those things which bring me joy. For me, most of the time, it has to do with painting. This blog also brings me joy. But when it began to feel like a responsibility...a duty...instead of a joy....I stopped blogging until I was inspired to start again.

I have come to believe that our first obligation to ourselves is to ensure that we feel as much joy as our hearts can hold....as often as possible! It isn't somebody else's obligation....it's all ours! If what you're doing isn't creating joy for you, maybe you should consider just not doing it anymore, if it's at all possible. And, I think it's possible more often than we allow.

I think, now, that I've developed a habit of joy. I didn't just wake up one day like this. It isn't something that falls on you like rain, ya know?

So......

If you find yourself dwelling on past or present 'negatives'......

......and if you are needing some more joy in your life,

make you some!

Have the INTENTION, each and every day, to consciously provide yourself with at least one joyful experience. Then do it some more!

Until one day, you have so much joy in your life that you want to talk about that...instead of those old bad memories.

I told my son the other day that I would rather be an old woman who bores people to death talking about how excited I am about painting, than to bore people to death talking about all my aches and pains and other woeful things.

I am grateful to know that true joy comes from ME. I am the creator of my joy.

HALLELEUJAH!

and

AMEN!

MAGICAL MOUNTAIN

A few weeks ago, I did a small painting of a snowy mountain.  It really appealed to me, so the other day, I decided to do a big one of it.

My friend, Donna, who often comments here, is my 'sounding board' for lots of my paintings.  I e-mail her...probably too frequently....pictures of the progression of a painting as I work on it.

When I sent her a photo of what I was calling Majestic Mountain, she wrote back, all excited, asking me "Do you see that man's face on the left side of that mountain?"

Well,no, actually, I hadn't seen it.  But when she pointed him out to me, it became quite obvious.

Louise is not the only one who 'Sees Things in Paint' around here!  (Hi, Louise!)

Then, I saw something that Donna hadn't seen.  I saw, quite distinctly, a woman on the right side of the mountain.  At that moment, the name of the painting changed from "Majestic Mountain" to

MAGICAL MOUNTAIN

24" X 36"

I am very grateful for these 'magical' moments.

NOTE TO MY INNER CRITIC

Stop!

Get out of my way!

I want to paint!

I want to paint all those beautiful shapes

and rainbows of color

exploding like fireworks

dancing like fairies

erupting like passionate love

coming at me from the farthest edges of the Universe!
 
 

I sit, quietly, hiding in the corner, from

that big, colorful universe called "Life."

I'm a little afraid that all that love might just crush me.

I'm still not quite sure that

Love doesn't hurt.

I make myself rise and take a few tentative steps.

Oh Look!

The Universe has asked me to dance!

Hiding safely in the shadows

I wonder.

If I come into the light,

Will my own brilliant beauty blind me?

I am grateful for The Artist's Way.

http://www.theartistsway.com/

SATURDAY MORNING

So far, it's been a perfect day!

I woke up at 5.
Rolled out of bed and put on my big, ugly, paint-stained, almost worn out, comfy, long t-shirt.
Made a cup of coffee.
Read my e-mail and a little morning news.
Started dancing with my brush.
;)

A painting before breakfast.  That's what I like.

It doesn't have to be a good painting, mind you. It does help if I actually like what I wind up with.  This time, I do.

I got out a 9 x 12 masonite panel on which I had tried a previous experiment...maybe a before breakfast painting that I didn't like.  I had gessoed over it so it was ready to try again.  I asked my paint colors who wanted to come out to play.  Yellow oxide and deep violet both yelled, "ME!  ME!"

I squirted some of each, directly onto the board and away we went into wonderland together!

At one point, I thought I had another failed experiement.  But then I tried ONE MORE THING.  Often, trying ONE MORE THING will ruin a painting.  This time, it worked.  I think.

Here's what I got.

I've never been on the Colorado River as it courses throught the Grand Canyon, but this is what I think it might feel like.

Now, I can go have breakfast.

I am grateful to yellow oxide and deep violet.

TAKING ANOTHER STEP

Earlier this week, Brandon, healer of warped canvases and builder of wonderful ones, told me about a call to artists from a gallery in a nearby town. They are planning a special event to benefit the gulf oil mess. He encouraged me to submit some photos of my paintings for consideration.


Gulp. I've never done that before.

But, I pulled up my big-girl britches and did it!

What I sent was:

WHELK'S EYE VIEW

16 X 20

MONUMENT VALLEY

36" X 48"

EARTH, SEA, SKY

18" X 24"

And these two departures from my usual style.

DANCING WITH THE UNIVERSE

24" x 36"

OIL SPILL

24" X 36"

I also sent this one...after an e-mail exchange with the owner.  This isn't even finished yet, although I've done more on it since this photo was taken.  There's something very interesting going on in this painting.  I think it will take another blog entry to tell it, though.

MAGICAL MOUNTAIN

24' X 36'

Yesterday, after I sent the e-mail to that gallery, I was on pins and needles waiting to hear back from them.

These are the thoughts which ran, helter-skelter, through my head.

They are going to take one look at those pictures and go...."Is she kidding?"

They are going to take one look at those pictures and go.... "The only thing to do with these submissions is ignore them!"

They are going to take one look at those pictures and go...."So what makes her think she can paint?"

A few hours later, I got an e-mail from the gallery owner. What she actually did say is "I like your work very much."
She said some more...but that was the main part! LOL

I'm here to tell you, I got so excited you would have thought I'd just been nominated for an Oscar or something!

Later, it occurred to me that considering this isn't some big well known gallery and they are putting together a benefit, they probably will accept almost anybody for this show. It also occurred to me that since I'd never gotten any details, they might very well be expecting participants to donate their work....or at least one piece of work.

Whoa Nellie!

I DO have a tendency to be 'excitable', on occasion.

However, after giving it all some more thought, I decided that it's all good. Really, it is. This small gallery could be the perfect place for me to have my first 'gallery' experience. After visiting their website, it became obvious that it's a pretty casual, laid-back, easy-going and anything goes (almost) kind of place. All of that is just right for a newbie like me. It's like being a non-swimmer in a kiddie pool. All fun and not much risk!

I'd be in way over my head in some high-dollar, hoity-toity, big name place anyway.

I'd be a fish out of water.

A bull in a china shop.

A street urchin having dinner with the uppity-ups, with no clue which fork to use for what!

I have since learned that they aren't expecting donations and they only take a 30% commission, which I think is very reasonable.



I'm still excited about it all. But now, I see it for what it is. It's just another step. It feels like a pretty big step...and one for which I am

VERY GRATEFUL!

FALLING OUT OF LOVE WITH TED DE GRAZIA

This post mortem love affair I have with Tucson artist Ted De Grazia might be over.


As of right now!

I am struggling to get the crazy shapes and lines of his little chapel painted correctly. I am also having strong visions of him, laughing maniacally, from his grave.

The turkey!

I have probably done at least twenty paintings of this place. This time, however, I am determined to be a tad more accurate in my portrayal. And the perspective I chose, makes it imperative that I get it right. You see, there's this one part that is really odd. There are no straight lines...some really weird curves...and if you don't have this right, you just aren't 'getting' the chapel.

Ths is why, in the past, I've always painted something to try to hide that one really crazy looking part. I've always used a well-placed cactus or tree to disguise my inability to 'get it right.' Heck! I even think that there were times that I just invented my own shape for this particular part of the chapel! Who needs accuracy?

Also, there's these funky little 'holes' in the chapel walls. Every time I try to paint them, they wind up looking like bullet holes. Not exactly the 'mood' I'm after. So, I usually just leave them out.

Sigh.

Here's the real thing.

Here's my pitiable initial lay-in of it.

Again, I say, "Ted, You turkey!"

And again, I hear him laugh from his grave!

I don't know why this seems to be so difficult for me.  I have seen many paintings of this chapel which are quite good likenesses and don't seem to have any trouble at all with that buttress on the left side of the building.

I just don't know what my problem is.

It doesn't help that my reference photo is devoid of interesting light and shadow.

It would help, if I would just drive the few miles to this place and take a picture in the more dramatic evening hours.

Why don't I do that?

I don't know.

Perhaps I have even more emotional dysfunctions than an imaginary love affair with a crazy, dead artist.

I am grateful for any vestige of sanity.

DIBS AND DABS

There seems to be no end to new things to learn and isn't that wonderful?

Sometimes, life teaches you lessons in dibs and dabs.

Sometimes, in waves which completely engulf you!


The last couple of days, I've been engulfed in a wave of learning about dibs and dabs! LOL

I had an old canvas with a bad painting on it. Actually, it wasn't a bad painting, it was just an experiment in using thick textures. So, I did a completely new experiment, adding even more texture.

Know what?

I love this. I don't think this one is a 'bad' painting.

RED ROOFS

16 X 20

Neither did L & L who came by yesterday to pick up their paintings.

More importantly, they seemed very pleased with their paintings. So now, I have no more bricks to carry around. If that makes no sense to you, refer to my posts about warped canvases.

They are such an absolutely delightful couple. We have lots in common and I hope to see them again sometime. Actually, I did my best to ensure that will happen by loaning them one of my most special books which I think they'll enjoy. If they don't bring it back...well, I KNOW where they live and I'll just go get it!

After I finished RED ROOFS, I wanted to try some more 'dib and dab' painting. But, I didn't have another heavily textured canvas, so I had to start from scratch. I didn't quite achieve the same look...but it's close. I like this one, too.

COTTAGE BY THE STREAM

9 X 12

Although it sorta looks like that stream, gliding so merrily along, is going uphill. Oh well. Perfect, it ain't! But fun, it was!

I am grateful to have been given another day to play with paint.

BARN RAISIN'

Wann know what I did yesterday?


I painted! What else? LOL

But, I took a break from my 'regular' painting...whatever that is...and did a couple of really different things.

First, I got out an old 'unsuccessful' painting and played with it. I decided it needed a barn. A red one. So...that's what I put in it. My first efforts just made me look at it and wonder..."What on earth was my purpose for painting that?" It had NO personality...no reason for being a painting. It was just a big red barn in a field of green. So what?

I remembered Poppy's Barn and how much character it had. That gave me an idea to take it a little further.

RED BARN AND SUNFLOWERS

16 X 20

Have I told you about Poppy's Barn?

I don't think so. I really need to do that soon!

The other 'different' thing I did was to begin an attempt to copy another painting. That's something I've never done before, I don't think. But a friend found one, on-line,of an English cottage which she fell in love with.   She's been wanting to try a landscape for a good while and we thought this one might be a good choice for her. We thought painting it 'together' would be a really fun experience. I'll let you know how that goes.

Copying someone else's work is something you need to be real careful about. I have no plans for trying to sell this and will, for sure, give credit to the great artist who painted it originally. Make no mistake...I think she is really, REALLY a good artist! She has skills I cannot come close to! Attempting to copy her work will absolutely be a good exercise...a good learning experience.

The artist is Joe Anna Arnett.  Here's a link to her site. 

http://www.joeannaarnett.com/archivearnett_landscape.html

The painting we are trying is called THE PERFECT COTSWOLDS  COTTAGE.

What am I planning to do today?

Well, I'm gonna clean up my messy studio because L & L are coming today to pick up their paintings!

And then.........

I'll paint! 

What else?

I don't know what yet, but one of Joe Anna Arnett's paintings is making me think about trying to paint a rooster!

I am grateful that when I pick up a paint brush, I can create whatever I want in my world!  Even if it's a rooster!

A BIT BEYOND

I've had a couple of artsy conversations lately when it's come up that many paintings, such as this one of the pond, has been done....and done........and done before.  As if that is a reason NOT to do it, yet again.

While I understand, somewhat, that opinion, I also believe that old saying that there IS nothing new under the sun. 

No matter what we 'create', we're really only re-creating what is already done...finished...accomplished!

There are only so many notes in a musical scale.   In English, there are only 26 letters of the alphabet. There are only four colors.

They've all been used...and used...and used and used.

I am so glad that after Mozart, people didn't just stop writing music!
I am so glad that after Shakespeare, people didn't just stop writing books, plays and poetry!
I am so glad that after Michelangelo people didn't just stop painting!

So, I paint.  Just like I used to write music.  And I write a blog.  Sometimes, I write poetry.   I'm not trying to invent anything new.  I have no desire to be on the cutting edge of anything.

I think I do these things because I recognize...and I value...all that IS Creation!  I cannot help myself.  I paint a picture, that's already been painted a thousand times because I am moved...not to emulate either other paintings or the scene itself...but to appreciate what I am fortunate enough to see before me.

All that said.....

My painting of the meditation pond at Holy Trinity Monastery was an exercise with a very specific purpose. It was to use only primary colors plus white, to do a painting. In a way, it's made me wonder why we feel like we need such a vast array of tubes of paint.


I think I've come to a point where it would be futile to continue working on it. At least, for now. I have come to the end of my abilities...and a tad beyond. It's the 'beyond' that I'm after. So, I think this painting, bad as it is, is a complete success.

I'm going to put it away now.  I might, or might not, come back to it later and try to make the water and the reflection look more like water and a reflection!  LOL

And to make that right side tree trunk look like less of a straight up and down stick!

And to make the background greenery more varied in both value and color.

And to make that gigantic old cottonwood on the left, look more like a gigantic old cottonwood instead of the paltry thing it is now!

And yes, I still feel that this painting was a success.

I am extremely grateful that instead of beating myself up over how bad it is, I am just pleased as punch over some things I learned...and that I was able to go 'a bit beyond.'

PRIMARY COLORS

I have three colors of paint, plus white, out on my palette. That's all I'm going to allow myself to use in this painting.

As far as I'm concerned, this proves the abundance of the Universe! We have everything we need to create whatever we want to create. The building blocks are here, there, everywhere! We just have to learn to recognize that truth and then to use those building blocks to create our lives. Right?

I don't care that Monet painted bridges over ponds much better than I will ever be able to. He never painted THIS one. And even if he did, he wouldn't see it the same way I see it. And none of that matters, anyway. I am painting this painting for a variety of reasons.

One is, of course, that I really love this spot at Holy Trinity Monastery.  I'm not necessarily trying to recreate the exact scene...but the way I feel when I am there.......

Yes, I know, it really doesn't look like the same place.  But, as I said, my intent is more to show how I feel about this place than the way it actually looks.  So, that part doesn't matter to me.

Another, is that I comprehend that when I paint a place, I am imprinting it even more firmly, in my memory. That IS important to me.

Also, this seemed like a good subject for a learning opportunity to use only the three primary colors to create all the colors I might want or need to use.

On my palette are:

Cadmium yellow medium

Titanium white

Cobalt blue

Napthol crimson

Earth
Wind
Water
Fire


Yellow
White
Blue
Red



All there is and all there needs to be, to create all that is or all that might be.

I am grateful to the ALL THAT IS for abundance in all things!

If...and when...I finish this painting, I'll show it to you.


Meanwhile, let's don't forget that everything we need to create the life we want is available to us...right now!

THE STORY-Part Three

Two of the canvases I bought from Brandon are big. I mean BIG! They are 3' x 4' with an inch and a half gallery wrap. While I was contemplating buying them, I told Chuck that he'd have to help me get the monsters on my easel. Brandon said, why bother....just lean them against the wall or hang them right on the wall to paint them.

That little exchange led to this new 'easel' which I have used now enough to know that I absolutely love, love, LOVE it!

It began so simply. I just leaned one of my display grids on the wall intending to use the display hooks to hold the canvas. I can raise or lower the level by simply moving the hooks up and down on the grid.

That works really well for really big, heavier canvases, but I found it was somewhat problematic for smaller, lighter-weight ones. They have a tendency to bounce and flop on me when I get to painting too enthusiastically. Which I often do!

So, hubby's great inventive mind went to work and voila! Problem solved! He took my regular easel apart and attached a portion of it to the grid. Now, I can work on even very small canvases and they stay put.

This set up gives me a couple of extra feet of work space and in my little studio, that's a lot!

This little invention motivated me to do some rearranging and reorganizing and I now have a more ergonomically correct...and infinitely more convenient space to play with paint!

A few days later, Brandon came by to pick up another warped canvas. He stayed awhile to visit and talk 'shop.' He kept looking at the painting I was working on and made a suggestion which he thought would improve it. I said, "Show me."

He did!

Unless you are shop talk starved and have had almost no one to share your passion with and no one to teach you, in person, for umpteen years, you have no idea what that simple act did for me. And to me. My eyes started leaking! Yes, they did! And they are doing it again, right now, as I write this!

When he delivered the properly mounted paintings the other day, once again, we shared some shop talk time and when he left, I asked him if he was going to bill me, eventually, for art instruction. He said he won't. Whew! That's really good to know, 'cause I intend to pick his University of Arizona art-degreed brain as much as I can!

Whether he knows it or not, he has given me a little push to be a little more daring...a little more fearless...a little more confident.

In the last month or so, I've had several incidents... and several people... which have given me those precious little 'pushes'. I am grateful for every one of them. Something is happening inside me....I almost feel as though I am shape-shifting!

I may be blogging a little more regularly...mostly about painting, of course...because each day seems to bring something new which excites me so much that I absolutely MUST share it!

It is truly a blessing to have a real person, IN person, to share with. But what on earth would I have done without the cyber-connections with you wonderful people who have, so patiently, allowed me to pour out my art and soul through the internet!

Thank you!

My gratitude is huge!  Even bigger than those big canvases!

CANYON SECRETS

24 X 36