REFLECTIONS

What a year this has been!

In April, hubby was laid off and our life completely changed. Almost our entire marriage, he’s been a cross-country trucker and was gone most of the time. Since April, we’ve actually lived together…and haven’t killed each other….yet! With the additional cooking, I’ve gained more than a stay-at-home husband, unfortunately. An increase in exercise and a decrease in calorie intake is definitely in my future.

On the positive side, because he was home, I finally got my permanent chimenea stand built. And we created another fun memory together.

Finances have been more than a little strained at times, but not once have we done without anything we needed…or much that we wanted. Somehow, we’ve been provided for-often at the very last minute and in some very unexpected ways.

In June, my brother died, after many years of battling diabetes. His memorial service was the sweetest send off anyone could have. I want one just like it!

In many ways, we had lost my brother long before he died. His death, somehow, brought him back to us. His true Spirit remains and now I feel close to him again.

Also, in June, our grandson, Michael, came to visit. We took him on a whirlwind trip to the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley and other Arizona places of interest.

That trip was one of the highlights of my entire life. We haven’t had many opportunities to be together as he was growing up, and this time helped fill up a big empty place in my heart.

I got involved in facebook and through it, renewed relationships with two of my most special cousins.
What a joy!
And also, through the wonders of the internet, I’ve created and maintained friendship with a bunch of women who constantly lift me up, make me laugh, and help me grow as a human spirit.

Those relationships inspired my painting, SISTER/FRIENDS, which will probably remain as one of my most favorite paintings I’ve ever done. It is fitting, that Joan (yes, the Joan who often comments here) purchased that painting. She is the angel who began the internet group of women with whom I’ve shared a deeply personal and special relationship for over 10 years.

In October, I began SKaySpeak. What a trip that has been! I am so grateful for it that words cannot express how I feel. All my art supplies were running low…or were completely gone…and I was feeling a little confused about just what I was supposed to do with my ‘art.’ SKaySpeak gave me another creative outlet and the only necessary expense is batteries for my beloved digital camera. The truth is, that I write..and photograph for…SKaySpeak to satisfy an inner craving. Lo and behold, other people are reading it and apparently enjoying it!

How blessed am I?

Very blessed indeed!

Last, but not least, Miss Daisy found her way into our lives.

She is a little terror…as only a kitten can be. Nothing is safe. Nothing is sacred. Ask Codi. She will tell you. But even Codi is being won over by that little ball of calico fluff. On Christmas Eve, we had our own little miracle of the animals. They actually played together. More than that, Codi was the instigator of their tumbling matches!

Peace reigns.

Peace and Gratitude.

This past year has taught me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when I choose Peace, that’s what I get. And when I am Grateful, more blessings fall upon me.

These blessings, I wish upon you, for the coming year.

May you choose Peace for your life.

And Be Grateful in all things!

KNEEL DOWN BREAD

My recent attempt at tamale making reminded me of another time I cooked something very different for me.


Something called ‘kneel down bread.’

And if you think making tamales sounds time-consuming and difficult, you ain’t heard nuthin’ yet!

A little explanation is in order first.

When I was 41 years old, I had the good fortune to meet a 16 year old Navajo girl. For some wonderful reason, she and I instantly bonded and have been close friends…no, much more than that….more like chosen family…ever since. Both the little pot and the clay sheep, in my painting,  were gifts from my Navajo family...along with some other things I treasure beyond measure.

Her family lives in the traditional Navajo way. That means in hogans, with no plumbing or electricity…and way up in some beautiful mountains on the Navajo Reservation in Northern Arizona.

On one of my visits there, it was green corn time….meaning the first of the corn crop was just beginning to ripen. It was time to make ‘kneel down bread.’

I wish I had pictures to show you of this, but I don’t. On the very first day of my visit, my camera jammed, so I got no pictures at all. That broke my heart! Even so, if I actually had pictures, I couldn’t use them here because the family doesn’t want me to ‘publish’ them. Which I completely understand and respect. So you will have to use all your imagination skills and help me out here, ok?

YIPPEEE! My friend gave me permission to at least use two pictures!  And...she told me, this is how you 'say' kneel-down bread in Navajo.  Ha!  Trying to get me to say a word correctly in their language is a huge laugh!  Anyway, it's ntsidigo'i.



And so……………
On the little hill-top where the bread is always made, right about here……….

.......we dug a hole in the earth.

A big hole! About the dimensions of a really large dining table and probably a foot deep.

After the hole was dug and smoothed to Grandma’s specifications, my friend, ‘S’ and I climbed a much higher, steeper hill to begin gathering wood. It had to be the right wood, though. I often picked up a dead branch only to be informed that it wouldn’t do….for one good reason or another.

After several trips, sometimes dragging huge portions of fallen trees, we had a sufficiency of appropriate firewood piled next to our ‘oven’, where we began our fire. Grandma, (Masani)  through an interpreter, gave me instructions and I was pretty much made official fire tender. Occasionally, one of the women of the family would check on me to ensure that I was creating the needed deep bed of coals….equally distributed all over the earthen oven. This required that I be almost constantly raking the burning wood hither, thither and yon…and always, of course, adding more fuel to the fire.

Did I mention this was in August and it was HOT! And I was sweating like a pig!!!

And one more little thing…..if, perchance, nature called…which thankfully, it didn’t very often as I was sweating out a lot more liquid than I was taking in, thereby eliminating the need for many trips to the outhouse…..

I would have had to walk a good 100 yards to the absolutely clean, little ‘necessary’ house.

I took this picture, on another visit, right from the seat…I kid you not!

What a view, don’t you think? One time, I sat and watched a family of ground squirrels scampering all over that red hillside…….but………I digress.



Back to my story………….



While I was tending the fire, the older women were sitting on the floor in Grandma’s hogan, shucking a huge pile of corn and cutting the tender kernels off the cobs. Some younger girls would then grind the corn, using an old-fashioned hand grinder attached to a wooden bench outside.

When the corn was ground, it was put into the fresh, green corn leaves and wrapped. Absolutely nothing was added to the corn…no salt, no flavorings of any kind…nothing but green corn sweetness!

When the fire was deemed ready….by Grandmother, of course, I was told to rake all those red-hot coals out of the pit.

All the prepared bread had been carried up the little hill and we began placing it, side by side, row after row…like a bunch of little green soldiers…right on that hot, hot ground.

Next, came a covering of cardboard…and then a layer of dry sand. All those hot coals were raked back over everything …along with some more wood chips. Within an hour, the bread was done.

When all the ashes, the sand and the cardboard were removed we were left with loaf after loaf of one of the most delectable dishes imaginable.

And we 'kneeled down' and gathered up all that glorious goodness!  And that's why it's called 'kneel down' bread.

I swear to you that I have never, in my life, eaten anything better!

Is ‘kneel-down’ bread worth all that work?

Absolutely!

Do I wish I had some to eat right now?

Absolutely!!!!!!!

Would I do it all again?

You bet I would...if I could get  one of those kids to climb up and down that mountain gathering the firewood!  And I think I could.  And if I couldn't, Masani could, for sure!

As you can imagine, this was an experience for which I am deeply GRATEFUL!!!!  But way more than that, I'm grateful for the blessed bond between that wonderful young woman and me.  I love her like a daughter/little sister/friend.

And now, I'm bawling 'cause I miss her!

A PLACE CALLED TEXAS CANYON

I saw it for the first time many years ago on my first visit to Arizona. It enthralled me with its’ magic…and I have remained head-over-heels in love with it ever since. Everyone I’ve ever taken to see it seems to feel the same.
I have climbed all over a big portion of these rocks over the years, usually with my brother. I just have a ‘thing’ for rocks…and this place delivers in a big way!

According to Wickipedia, it’s known as Texas Canyon because “a bunch of damned Texans” settled there. Descendants of that family still raise cattle on the ranch that is on this land.

Enuff talk! Let’s look at pictures!

This one will give you an idea of the scale of many of these boulders.

That's my brother.... and his son, scaling the wall.

See the lines running through the rock?

Those are veins of quartz.

Some of them are small like this one...

But some are as wide as 5 or 6 inches.

I love this next picture. My grandson took it when he was here.

He climbed higher than Grandma wants to go anymore. But believe you me, I've been to the very top of some of these rocks and ridges.

There are some very interesting rock formations in Texas Canyon.  Of course, there's whale rock. 

Let me get a little closer.

And just to the right, is the arch. My son and my nephew climbed up there one day and scared the crap outta me doing it!

One day, I my friend, Lori and I went to Texas Canyon.

And look what we found?  A lizard chasing another lizard!

I like odd rock formations so much, that I'm planning to do a whole blog entry about them pretty soon.

Rocks rock!

 

I have so many wonderful memories of Texas Canyon. Most of them include my brother.

 So, it is only fitting that the last time I visited Texas Canyon was when his memorial service was held there.  It was a beautiful summer evening, just before sunset.. His ashes are now a permanent part of this special place, which makes it even more special to me now.

I am so GRATEFUL for this place called TEXAS CANYON.

THE DATING GAME

After two and a half months of writing this blog, it's finally happened.
I am just not in the mood to come up with anything to post for tomorrow morning.
But, I must.  Because I've made this committment, haven't I? 
So........I have to do something...but what?

Hmmm.....I'm thinkin'.  I'm thinkin'.

I've got it!

I'm going to tell you a little story about something that happened when, at the age of 40-plus, I found myself back in the dreaded dating game.

I wasn't really looking for love.  To be perfectly honest, what I really wanted was a good dancing partner. 

So anyway....
I met this guy, who shall remain nameless...or maybe not.  His name was Gary.  Gary wasn't a great dancer, but he was a nice enough guy, so I went out with him a couple of times.  On one of our dates, I lost an earring in his car.  I loved those earrings.  They were vintage rhinestone ones that I found in an antique store.

I want to make it perfectly clear that the earring just slipped off my ear.  They were clip-ons.  There was NO hanky-panky going on AT ALL!

I didn't worry too much about it, thinking I'd just look around the passenger seat of his car on our next date.  But, there wasn't a next date.  Gary just didn't call.  I had no idea why and really didn't much care but I did want my earring back.  So, I tried calling him.  I called and I called.  I left messages...all to no avail.

I wanted my dadgum earring back and I was getting pretty ticked off about the whole thing.

As a last resort, I wrote to him.

Here's what I said.

"In my dim and distant past.
Never was I dumped so fast.
And I'll admit, I have no clue
Of what might have offended you.
This woman scorned will not attack.
I simply want my earring back!

Please.
Thank you."

I truly thought that a little humour would be the right touch to address the whole issue.  I was amazed that, still, he didn't call and never acknowledged the messages I left for him.

Rude!

A few weeks later, my friend and I were driving by a popular bar/dance hall and we spotted his car.

We immediately channeled Thelma and Louise!

We pulled in behind his car, blocking his escape...and lo and behold, about that time, we saw him walking toward us.

I hopped out, calmly confronted him and demanded (quite nicely) to be allowed to search inside his car for my earring.  He sort of had no choice.  Well, he could have denied me, but then he really would have been showing what a jerk and a loser he was, so I guess he decided to just let me look.

I found my earring.

And drove off with Thelma.

I might have even managed to toss my hair in contempt.

One day, several months later, Gary rang my doorbell.  He hemmed and hawed and acted completely embarrassed...which he should have....and asked my forgiveness for his strange behaviour and would I consider going out with him again.

Does anyone care to take a guess what I might have said to him?

Sometimes, I am so very, very GRATEFUL for being dumped by Gary.

And, I am very GRATEFUL that you, my friends, will accept this simple story as my offering today and you won't hold it against me.

Thank You.
Me

HAIKU FOR THE SUNDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

Peace, sweet peace envelops me

Like snow in winter

Blanketing the land.

I am so very GRATEFUL.

IT'S OVER!!!!!!

It's over!  It's over!  Christmas time is over!

December 26th is finally here!

The craziness will end now and so we can begin now

To get back into 'normal' life so dear!

No Christmas ads entice us, allure us and advise us

How we must buy this toy with cost so dear

So not to disappoint them we surely must anoint them with gifts

Which put our mortgage in arrears.

To meet these expectations, cause happy celebrations

Seems heavier than Santa’s bulging sleigh

So with a happy sigh now, relieved, I say, "Goodbye," now

And get the Christmas mess all put away!

Now, if you’re still all cheery, all misty-eyed and teary

O’er all the festive fun and food and play.

Then with these words, I leave you, for I don’t wish to grieve you

I hope you had a HAPPY CHIRSTMAS DAY!

I am so very GRATEFUL!!!!!!!!!

My CHRISTMAS CARD FOR YOU

I WISH YOU PEACE.

And I wish you much for which to BE GRATEFUL.

CHRISTMAS BLUES

Merry Christmas! I say it with a big smile that I almost feel inside. But not quite.


If you love Christmas, revel in it, treasure it, enjoy it completely….

This post is NOT for you.

However, in spite of all the Christmas Cheer flying like reindeer in the sky, the truth is that for a lot of people, it ain’t so cheery, Charlie.

I used to love Christmas.

But all that changed for me after my children’s father and I divorced. They were 10 and 12. Thereafter, the whole holiday season…from Thanksgiving through Christmas…became a time of excruciating pain and depression…for us all.

That underlying pain has never really gone away. My children and I live so far apart from one another that we seldom have had the opportunity to spend holidays together. After my sons grew up and had sons of their own, it got even worse. My grandchildren and I were strangers to each other for most of their early years.

At Christmas time, I listened to my friends talk about their fun with their grandchildren and it was like a knife twisting in my heart.

One of the best gifts I’ve ever received is the restraint of one of my dearest friends who makes it a point to limit her Grandma gushing whenever she talks to me. And believe me, she’s a wonderful Grandma with plenty to ‘gush’ about!

The extra stress of extra expense is a real bummer, too. As a single mom, I never had the extra money necessary for the things I dearly longed to give to my kids. The truth is, that seldom in my life, have I had the extra money to spend during this season of ultra-lavish giving. 

HO! HO! HO!

SO!

If you’re feeling pretty blue about the whole Christmas thing, know this. You are NOT alone. You are NOT a freak of nature. You are NOT Scrooge or the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

You are a hurting human being forced to attend a party you don’t want to be at.

I get it. I really do.

And so do lots of other people.

So, here’s my Christmas greeting for you.

Hang in there. Breathe In. Breathe Out.

It’s all gonna be over real soon now.


I am GRATEFUL, beyond belief, for December 26th, in spite of the fact that it’s the anniversary of my Mother’s death. (Go read MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL. You’ll find it here.) 

http://skayspeak.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-christmas-angel.html

One more thing.

I send you love.

RAISING MISS DAISY

Our little ragmuffin is growing!  I swear she's literally doubled in size since we found her...a scant 16 days ago .  (I'm writing this on December 20th and she came to us on December 4th).

This is one of the first pictures I took of her.  Today, we tried to get her to sit there again so we'd have a size comparison.  Ha!  Stupid humans!

This is the best we could do, but still, just look at the difference!

Apparently, she's thriving.  Codi is coping.

Usually by spending as much time as possible out on the patio.

Poor thing.

Already, we've had to 'kitten-proof' our house.  Or at least, make an attempt.  A kitten is endowed with super powers.  They can scale tall furniture

 and become so tiny they can hide in impossible places ....like under my recliner.....

And, somehow, little as they are, they can manage to  pretty much just take over their whole little world!

Her coat is becoming more becoming....

and less like bad hair day personified...or would that be feline-ified?

She eats like a little pig.  We had to create a safe place for her food and water to keep Her Highness from eating it all.  Hubby even gave it an address.

Her Highness is getting more tolerant.

They even play together once in a while.  However, I think Codi does it with more resignation than pleasure.  Do you see Daisy hiding behind the little Indian boy?

After finding my sweet little Indian boy toppled over one morning, he has been relegated to a safe spot in a box in the bedroom, for who knows how long?

I miss him.

Daisy has taken to following in Codi's footsteps,

..... so I suspect soon, she's going to be trying to sneak out the door whenever Codi goes out.

Codi is an indoor/outdoor cat. Daisy will be, too, eventually. But for now, we're going to have to watch her like a hawk so she doesn't accidentally get out and become lunch for our occasional pair of Harris hawks.

Mostly, Daisy sleeps.

She had just been torturing this tag, having a ball, when it was suddenly all over.  Nap time!  I wish I could always fall asleep that fast! 

Yes, those are my flannel pj clad legs.

And sleeps some more........

But she's getting lots more playful.

She loves this....

It's two extra long shoelaces tied together with a long series of knots at the end and the whole thing tied to a wooden back scratcher which is our 'handle.'  We sling it, and slither it, and tease and torment her with it and she has so much fun!

She also has this......

and this

But as they are both hand-me-downs from Codi's baby days, it's possible that she is simply prouder of her very own, made especially for her back-scratcher/shoestring/knots play-toy!

Today, she discovered her shadow.

 

What Is that thing following me?

Did I mention, she sleeps?

Yep.  That's pretty much it.  She eats.  She plays.  She sleeps.  Then does it all over again.

I guess I have to admit it.

I kinda like her.

And........

I'm

Grateful

for

Miss

Daisy!