Merry Christmas! I say it with a big smile that I almost feel inside. But not quite.
If you love Christmas, revel in it, treasure it, enjoy it completely….
This post is NOT for you.
However, in spite of all the Christmas Cheer flying like reindeer in the sky, the truth is that for a lot of people, it ain’t so cheery, Charlie.
I used to love Christmas.
But all that changed for me after my children’s father and I divorced. They were 10 and 12. Thereafter, the whole holiday season…from Thanksgiving through Christmas…became a time of excruciating pain and depression…for us all.
That underlying pain has never really gone away. My children and I live so far apart from one another that we seldom have had the opportunity to spend holidays together. After my sons grew up and had sons of their own, it got even worse. My grandchildren and I were strangers to each other for most of their early years.
At Christmas time, I listened to my friends talk about their fun with their grandchildren and it was like a knife twisting in my heart.
One of the best gifts I’ve ever received is the restraint of one of my dearest friends who makes it a point to limit her Grandma gushing whenever she talks to me. And believe me, she’s a wonderful Grandma with plenty to ‘gush’ about!
The extra stress of extra expense is a real bummer, too. As a single mom, I never had the extra money necessary for the things I dearly longed to give to my kids. The truth is, that seldom in my life, have I had the extra money to spend during this season of ultra-lavish giving.
HO! HO! HO!
SO!
If you’re feeling pretty blue about the whole Christmas thing, know this. You are NOT alone. You are NOT a freak of nature. You are NOT Scrooge or the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
You are a hurting human being forced to attend a party you don’t want to be at.
I get it. I really do.
And so do lots of other people.
So, here’s my Christmas greeting for you.
Hang in there. Breathe In. Breathe Out.
It’s all gonna be over real soon now.
I am GRATEFUL, beyond belief, for December 26th, in spite of the fact that it’s the anniversary of my Mother’s death. (Go read MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL. You’ll find it here.)
http://skayspeak.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-christmas-angel.html
One more thing.
I send you love.
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8 comments:
Sharon, what so many forget is this is just one day, one out of 365. They pour so much hope into this one day and find it has been a disappointment. It is just what it is, a holiday, not much different than the 4th of July, or Memorial Day. I would tell people to walk away from the mushy, happy commercials and look at it as it is in reality, a Holy Day for some, a feast day for others, and absolute horror for others. My Mom passed two days after my birthday, so I understand anniverseries...I think she may have held off until then as she knew how much I hated my birthday(as bad things always happen!) I think Christmas is a good day to have a large beaker of wine, and wait for the 26th!
I'm so with you on the wine idea, HC! Yes, lots of people have some pretty unrealistic expectations of a Christmas card perfect holiday...and then, life sometimes throws some big boulders in the happy picture, too. I'm glad I'm past all the sadness I used to feel at this time. Now, I am just delighted, knowing it will soon be over. LOL
Dear Skay and Happycrone -- I can understand where you're both coming from. The whole holiday season, starting with Halloween, can leave me feeling rather wistful and melancholy. I don't think I'd say I'm ever really depressed, but wistful is a good word for what I so often feel inside. As for me, rather than wanting it over and done with, I wish I could slow the clock down from time to time. Maybe then I could squeeze all of the love into the season that I can. But since I'm minus a time machine, I've just had to try to enjoy the "everything" of the holidays as much as I can without setting my hopes too high. Too many Christmases past left me with dashed hopes and dreams of "creating the perfect two days." Now, I'm content with living with "lowered expectations." Content is a good word, too.
The friendships that I've made since my venture into cyberspace, and being blessed with meeting the two of you, is added to the list of things I am truly grateful for today!
Sending my love into cyberspace knowing that it is returned ~*~ Karen
Karen,
Cyberspace love is a good thing! ;)
I'm learning that if you spread the holiday feelings, the givig and the gratitude, throughout the year, the 'real' holidays don't have to be so special. Everyday is Thanksgiving or Christmas. :)
Sharon - I wish you peace and I hope that kitten brings many hours of joy to your house tomorrow. She is a real beauty, and a real gift.
Cyberspace is a good thing. So many people can connect in ways that are meaningful - and that may not be available in everyday life.
So, I'm glad you're part of mine.
Cindy
Sharon, just read your post. I let go of the Christmas Card Christmas many years ago. I guess it was 5 now. Christmas for me is all about the Christmas Cards. ( I love them - sending and receiving) the Christmas Tree and the music. We dont do presents in a big way anymore. The retail and advertisers have put me off on that one. We asked that the kids give a KIVA donation in our name. And I dont make a huge fuss in the kitchen. Bob even bought a pumpkin pie last night. Jason will come over in a bit, we will play some guitar hero, eat, watch some movies and play Settlers of Cataan (they to make me happy, its my favorite game). But it is just a day, alittle special for some but just a day.
So this day I wish you Peace Joy and Happiness. And everyday I send you Love.
Cindy,
I promise Miss Daisy is entertaining us today. I would share her with you if I could.
I hope your day is a good one....and I have a feeling, it will be.
Bless you, my newest cyber-friend.
Cathy,
I love you KIVA donation idea. What could be a better gift to the world? Except for each of us to hold wishes for peace, joy, happiness and love for ourselves...and one another.
I send the love back to you, multiplied!
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