Thanksgiving was basically the pits. Mom didn’t feel like doing any cooking. And I wasn’t in the mood to do it. My husband and I bought the whole she-bang from a local grocer and hauled it to the town where Mom and Dad lived. Before the day was over, we had to take Mom to a hospice in Tucson. As we followed the ambulance, I told my dad and my husband that I had no intentions of ever cooking another Thanksgiving dinner again. At the moment, that holiday had lost all its' traditional meaning for me.
A couple of weeks later, she rallied somewhat and we all gathered at our house for a BBQ. We spent most of the day outside on the patio in our perfect Tucson weather. She even gave my husband a haircut! She was a hairdresser and a darned good barber, too.
It was a wonderful and memory-filled day.
As Christmas grew closer, it seemed Mom would go at any time. But, she held on…and held out…even though we tried to ‘trick’ her. Her poor body was worn out and her spirit was ready to fly, fly away. So, we gave her a Christmas gift on Christmas Eve, hoping she would think that it was now okay to leave us.
My husband and his daughter, my brother and myself left the hospice to go home for a Christmas Eve the likes of which we had never experienced.
There had been no shopping….no cooking….little decorating.
We had our tree up, mostly for Mary’s (hubby’s daughter) sake. And that was it.
Mary had made a gift, in school, for her Dad and me and we had got her something simple at the last minute.
Holding a death watch and making merry for the holidays just don't go together. So, little preparation had been made.
But we all sat around in the darkened living room, watched the twinkling tree lights and listened to some Christmas music….and loved each other.
And expected a phone call at any moment, saying she was gone.
Ha! She always was a pretty smart cookie! She held on till the day after Christmas and left peacefully and easily with her family gathered at her bedside.
But before she left us, she gave me the best Christmas gift I’ve ever received. It was the gift of a Christmas, spent as it should be spent. Without all the frantic fuss. Without all the stress of all the things that typically happen around Christmas.
That year, Christmas was all about LOVE and absolutely nothing else.
Thank you, Mom, my Christmas Angel.
Mom isn’t the only Christmas Angel in our family.
My sweet cousins’, very sweet Mom died on Christmas day, many years ago, when they were much, much too young to lose their Mother.
We figured she was there waiting for Mom…it being so close to Christmas and all.
I am GRATEFUL for these two good women in my life.
17 comments:
Is this not precious; she looks just like an angel. She looks like Zo too! I think I am caught up again as I finially have a normal morning. I loved your sermon; I believe God was showing you He agreed with you by sending the birds.
You? Having a 'normal' morning!!! Halleleujiah!
I think you're right about the birds. That was an amazing experience.
What a humbling story. That is all I can say.
I understand, Donna. It was such a precious time.
Your words about being grateful are so good. I'm going to try doing as you suggest. It is a shame that we let stress and the daily grind rob our joy and make us forgetful of our many blessings.
I loved the pictures of your mom. She was a beautiful young woman, but the one of her cutting Chuck's hair is the Faye I remember.
Thank you for sharing your Christmas Angel with me, Sharon. And, what a good reminder of what's most important about celebrating the holidays ... spending time with those we love and giving thanks for the blessings we enjoy each day. I think I'll call my Dad and Stepmom for a nice long chat today, rather than waiting until the phone lines are jammed on Christmas Day. (I can call them on Christmas, too!) I think I'll also plan to stop off at my Mother's to visit her and my Stepdad while I'm out running errands today. You made me realize there's no reason to wait to remind them how much they mean to me. Sending my love ~*~ Karen
Kelly. the thing I'm most grateful for in my life is that I think I've really learned the good lesson of gratitude. I will encourage you, in every way I can, to do the same.
Somehow, I feel like I should sign this 'Aunt' Sharon instead of cousin Sharon. ;)
That sounds like a good plan, Karen. :)
I read each day, but sometimes there is a mulling in my mind that takes over.
This post is one of those things that initiated a mulling over.
So many more things attached to "Christmas" than there were when I was a child. When I was a child it was easy, my mother created my holiday. There may have been the idea of Santa but truly it was my mother who wove the holiday together.
That specialness that was the result of her every endeaver - from cookies (that I later found out she didn't especially like to make), to special presents for us under the tree, to the family gatherings
- our house or my aunts Christmas Eve with my Dad's family, My Grandma's house Christmas day with my mom's family
every Christmas thing she did implanted a desire for Christmas to continue with my own family, nothing to do with the rest of the world I sit here realizing, but much to do with what she created for me - under her covering wings
Now it is my daughters who continue the saga, creating Christmas traditions that may continue on down by their family...used to be at my house then my brother's Christmas Eve and my mom's Christmas Morning - now it is at my daughter Suzette's Christmas Eve, my daughter Kara's Christmas Morning and me to my friends Karen and Chris Paul Christmas afternoon while my daughters scatter to the rest of their family.
Fortunately there are joys that replace the ache of what passes away. Gratitude found in the now and in what has already been, perhaps keeps me from getting lost in the ache of what no longer is, or what might have been.
We have often been guilty of making the holiday harder than it needed to be - our idea of just presents for each other but had to be something special we selected to make for each other
...resulted in at least one Christmas afternoon frantically going to my mom for help finishing a project that was a "not coming together well fabulous cloth scarves that were lovely fabric but kept stretching as we tried to sew" - fortunaty that year we were getting together Christmas Evening and mom was available to make it all turn out well...like your mom she is now gone from our celebration circle.
Actually my mom made it a bit easier - she seperated from our Christmas gatherings a few years before she was actually gone...she and my dad started to go to Myrtle Beach the end of November for the Winter and they spent Christmas with friends that gather there....so as we gather at Christmas it was a gradual letting go...
Joan, One of the things I love best about doing this blog is that some of you post such wonderful stories in response to my little stories.
I hope you all keep it up. This kind of sharing is one of the ways we all are bound, in love, to each other.
actually it may have been a more gradual letting go, but it carried with it a sadness that we had to let her go before she was truly gone...
my mom was one of the people in the world who made the world a better place to be. Wherever she was, like you Sharon, whoever she was with was made richer and was blessed by her being there.
Hi Ladies!
Sharon~~What a touching tribute to your Mom aka your Christmas Angel. She must be up there with other family members saying, "That's my girl right there~~the one who paints and writes from her heart." Her joy for you must light up the heavens with a special star.
Your blog here is stunning and uplifting to us all. I don't know how to become one of your followers or I would be one. I will have Ted help me figure it out this weekend. As you might remember I am not the sharpest pencil in the box when it comes to navigating around on these computers. hahahaha
Huge hugs my friend!
Love,
Debbie
Debbie...bless you! On my monitor, there's a place that says "follower". It's right above the icons of my present followers. I think all you have to do is click on that. Ask Ted to give you a hug from me. And thanks for those words of yours which certinly uplifted me. It's a circle, isn't it? A circle of love! :)
Yep~a complete circle, Sharon!
I am now a follower on your blog. Now I have to figure out how to do the avitar thingy.
Baby steps. ~giggle~
Oh and I cracked up at the toilet story and haven't we all had days like that?!!
Hugs,
Debbie aka tedanddebbie
Way to go, Deb! You're gonna be a computer whiz in no time! LOL
Hello Sharon, well I had a Saturday all to myself. Aaron is roping and riding with his Papa, and rodney is working. I finally had the opportunity to do absolutely nothing and of course read your sermon and the post about our Christmas Angels. it has taken me a long time not to get caught up in the Christmas bullshit..i mean bustle, but I clung to a little in the form of worring because I haven't done anything this year to get ready. After reading your post today, I feel so much better. There is nothing at wal mart or the mall I need. I will put a little tree up, Aaron will have a couple of presents, but I have everything I could ever want. I love you so much, and now I'm going to set my mind on feeding my spirit with peace, joy and love. I will feed the right wolf. Blessings to you and Chuck
Tracie, I think our Christmas angel mom's are smiling together right now. Maybe just like they were doing in that picture of them.
I love you, too and we send blessings back to you and your family.
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