NEVER ON SUNDAY 2.28.10

No blogging today.
No slogging through words
attempting to say things
serious or silly
playful or profound.

Just breathe.  Relax.  Rest.

And Be Grateful.

I DID IT AGAIN!

I just wrote a post about seeing things as they really are instead of as they appear on that imprinted tv screen behind your eyeballs.


I wrote it about painting...and about life.

Then, I started a painting with a bunch of flowers in it and I painted those flowers as they appear on that imprinted tv screen behind my eyeballs. They looked like.........well, you know. Starts with 'h'. Rhymes with 'bell.' In short, they looked like hell.

I could not help myself. I had a little rhyme going on there and just had to play it out! Sorry for the bad word. A little.

Anyway, even with the words I had just written still ringing in my own ears, I reverted to old bad habits the very next day!

And isn't that just the way it is. We 'learn' a truth. Believe it. Share it. Preach it. And then, we act as if we'd never learned it at all.

Someone says or does something we perceive as unkind to us and we get hurt, angry or fearful and forget that we have a choice in the matter. When, in fact, we do. We can choose to look at the old re-play of the movie flickering on our mind's tv screen. Or we can open our minds and see that we can choose to not react to an unkindness at all. It doesn't have to hurt us. It doesn't have to anger us. And it doesn't have to scare us.

And that, is the truth.
We see it.
We believe it.
Share it.
Preach it.
And then.......well you know what happens next.

But with time and practice and determination and mind cleansing, that can change. It really can. Change isn't always easy. I had to re-paint a whole lot of this painting to create the illusion of reality.  I didn't succeed...totally.  I still see many things which could be improved.  But it's better than it was.  And I choose to pat myself on the back for what I've done better than to beat myself up for what I haven't done perfectly.

And that's the way we create reality, instead of illusion, in our lives.  We just do it again...but in a different way...till eventually it becomes second nature.

We can choose drama.

In a painting, that might be a good touch.  In life, it just gets tiring.

Or, we can choose peace.

Peace, in a painting is often desirable.  And for me, it is always preferable in my life.  Peace.  Joy.  Love.

And gratitude.

All choices.

I continue to be grateful for the life lessons which painting teaches me.

WHAT A DAY!

On Wednesday, I said on here that I am grateful for water.


On Thursday, I became even more grateful.

I painted through the early morning hours, as usual, but needed to stop and get things cleaned up as I was going to my friend, Lori's. I turned on the water in my studio sink to clean my brushes...and no water came out!!!! No water came from the kitchen tap either! I panicked!
I knew I had paid the bill.... even though it was a tad late.
I looked outside and saw a veritable river of water running down our alley...and from the front yard, I could see a number of water department vehicles...back hoes, etc. A worker finally came by and told us a major 'main' had broken and we would not have water for about 3 hrs. But before they turned it off for the duration...in a few minutes...they'd turn it on again so everybody could gather up some water. We got enough to make it through the hours ahead without the blessing of running water. Or at least, for hubby to make it…. ‘cause I was headed to Lori’s where, thankfully, toilets would still flush!

Lori and I have a truly honest relationship…especially when it comes to our opinions regarding home décor and landscaping. By that, I mean, when I don’t like something she’s done, I have absolutely no problem letting her know. And she is the same.

She had a rather large mirror in her guest room which had a shiny silver finish. Every time I walked into that room last week when I was there hanging pictures, I’d about gag! Finally, I blurted out. “I really hate that mirror!”

I am so diplomatic.

So, Lori, being the great delegator that she is, replied,

“Well, do something about it.”

So, I did. I brought it home and painted it a soft blue and gave it an antique look.

I still think it needs to be softened with a bit more paint, but we’re going to leave it as is, for right now and see what we think later.

Anyway….after leaving Lori’s, I stopped by a thrift store to look for a frame for my newest painting, LA SENORA.

I didn't find one.

What I did find, when I got back to my car, is that it wouldn't start. I called Chuck to the rescue and long story short, we wound up having to purchase a new battery. Luckily, there was an auto parts place nearby and so it was fairly easy to buy a new battery and get it installed. $80, every few years, I guess, is little to pay for a battery ,but of course, right now, even $80 knocks a king-sized hole in our monthly budget.

While waiting for Chuck to get the battery installed I found things for which to be grateful and soon I was feeling a lot less stressed.

Things like, it isn’t freezing cold while we’re standing out here in this parking lot working on the car. And it isn’t pouring down rain. As a matter of fact, it is a lovely day.

Things like the snow covered mountains look really beautiful. and I've got to see three different ranges looking especially beautiful today!

The Santa Rita's...way south of us.

The Rincons...just east of us.

The Santa Catalina's...just north of us.

Things like, the money is available to pay for the battery.


Things like, Wow! What an interesting looking tree!


Things like I actually have my camera with me and I can take pictures of said tree!

Look at how low to the ground that long branch is growing!

It was way past lunch and nap time when I finally got home. But I checked my e-mail and lo and behold, one of my regular blog readers (Hi Debbie!)  wanted to buy LA SENORA! The price I quoted her helped a lot toward the expense of the battery! They've already pay-pal-ed me the money. I am grateful!!!!!!!

While cat-napping, I realized that on this particular painting, I want a nice glossy finish so I needed to go to Michael's for some varnish and a good brush for varnishing. By the time I got up from my rest, it was nearly 4. Off I went, in the worst traffic! I NEVER go out during the rush hour traffic, but today, I did!

I was in Michael's contemplating which brush to get for varnish, when a woman reached for a brush in the display, held it toward me and asked if I painted with acrylics and had I tried this wonderful brush?

Her name is Marilyn. She has taken and taught many painting lessons. She paints mostly landscapes in acrylics. Her husband got laid off from a truck driving job in his late 50's. Now, he mostly plays WOW on the computer and smokes. She doesn't smoke, but smoking doesn't bother her at all. (Ya'll know I smoke.)  She teaches 'painting' in a residence for disabled adults. She lives very close to me. She misses, horribly, having someone to share 'painting' with. She insisted that even though I've never had any lessons or training, she is certain she can learn as much from me as I can from her! As we made ourselves stop talking (because her cute little granddaughter was getting a little impatient with us) and I walked away...she said, ya know I luv ya!

Did she really say that?  Is it possible?

Or maybe it was a God whisper!

Oh PLEASE,PLEASE, PLEASE, Dear Universe, let this be the painting friend I need and want so badly!!!!

I wish ya'll could read something..........well...I'll just make it so that you can....that a dear artist friend wrote to me the other day and it made me cry!

She wrote:

My point is, that you have been aiming yourself at that kind of versatility and succeeding...


all by yourself. That's amazing. I can only guess at the time and energy you've spent


to be able to learn, integrate and DO all that you have done. You're angsting over


a figure to get it right, believable..... gotta tell you girlfriend, you have more persistence


and talent than most art students. 'Self-taught' is very hard, .... isolated, w/o encouragement,


instruction, or rubbing shoulders in a classroom/ art studio (all of the things that


fuel the rest of us).

To have someone acknowledge that for me was ...well, I'm sitting here just not having a clue what words to use.

But it meant the world to me.....and I'm all teary-eyed over it again.

Finally, about eight hours after the water had been turned off, it got turned back on. I ran outside and hollered my thanks to those hard working men. And I meant it!

And you know what else? You know that interesting tree that I took pictures of? Well, one of them is totally perfect for today’s blog entry.

Because………

Sometimes, we need a little help from our friends. A little encouragement. A little support.

What a blessed day this has been!

And I am most grateful!

SO YOU THINK THERE'S NO WATER IN ARIZONA!

HA!

There is.  A little,  here and there.  And I guarantee you when you come upon some water in this desert landscape it is a sight to behold!

We, grandson, hubby and me, had trekked through a lot of Northern Arizona and were on our way back to Tucson.  We chose a route which would take us here.

This is Lake Roosevelt....a good spot for a picnic, don't you think?

It is a little odd to find this large body of water in the middle of this landscape.

But when you see the depth of the canyons, you can understand how a pretty big lake can be formed.  We drove over seven such bridges during this stretch of the road.

Yes, there's water in Arizona.

We have dinosaurs, too.

And now you know.

I am most grateful for water.

And for interesting road side attractions.

I AIN'T SKEERED ANYMORE.

I guess I should apologize because the subject today...yet again....is

painting.

Are you surprised?

Well, I am.

I am very surprised by what my little 'timed painting' exercise has brought about.  And since almost every minute of every day has been spent with a paint brush in my hand, I just have nothing else to talk about...or blog about.

So, if you are bored by this subject by now, you might just want to skip this post altogether.

What happened, I am wondering?

It seems that I have made some kind of quantam leap in grasping the concept that I actually can learn to paint anything...IF I simply allow myself to really 'see' the shapes that are 'there' instead of the 'shape' my mind tells me is there.

Dang!

Hot Damn!

and

Hallelelujia!!!

The result of all this is that in the short time, since I set myself this task, I have produced four paintings that I am quite pleased with....no.......not just pleased........

I am over the moon!

I am doing the happy dance in my soul!

I am feeling like Rocky running up the steps!

I am woman...hear me roar!!!!

I am John Wayne catching the bad guys!

It all began with that little timed painting/study I did of Poppy's barn.  I really liked something about what I had done in the quick sketchy painting of it, so I pulled out a 16 x 20 canvas and did a 'real' painting.  I was still, somewhat, in chicken mode...meaning I was scared to attempt a part of the painting...so I really wimped out on it.  The particular part of the scene was the trees.  Sweet gini...yes, the one who often comments on here, called me on it.  I didn't accept her challenge immediately...still maintaining my poultry position.  But I did do another painting of the same barn...different view....and this time, I put in the dratted trees.  But I really looked at the different shapes in the trees in the photo and I'll be darned, they turned out pretty good!  So, I gave in, followed gini's good advice and re-worked barn #1, including proper trees!  On a roll, I painted barn #3. This time, with autumn trees instead of summer ones!  Again, I was  pretty happy with what I'd done.

Soon, I will post a blog about that barn and show you the three paintings.  But first, I want to get some information about the barn, which has been in my daughter-in-law's family for at least two generations.

While I was going through my collection of photos, looking for all my pictures of the barn, I had pulled out one of a lady in a garden in Old San Diego...and set it aside....for some reason.

One morning, about 3 a.m., I woke up, knowing I had to try to paint that image.  I made myself stay in bed until 4...then I filled my BE GRATEFUL mug with strong, hot coffee and still in my jammies and robe, headed straight to the easel.

LA SENORA

9 x 12 acrylic on masonite

This lovely lady looks so peaceful and serene, andn a little mysterious, relaxing in the garden.  I am thinking she has learned a valuable lesson about life.

When we hold on to our preconceived ideas, we are holding on to an illusion.  Nothing 'real' and 'good' can come from either illusions or delusions.  We must open our eyes to what is truly 'real' if we want to make progress as human beings.  Kind of like if you want to make a good painting, you have to open your eyes...and your mind...so you can see what is really there.

How grateful I am, once again for the joy of painting!

And ya know what?  I'm already well into another painting with a  person in it.  And this one has lots and lots of flowers, too.  I've always been really scared of painting flowers.

I ain't skeered anymore.

************************

I wrote that last sentence.  I read it.  I knew it was true.  I broke into tears. Good ones.

In another post, I'll try to explain why this moves me so much, but I can't right this minute.

************************

I am filled with gratitude!

LORI'S PAINTING

Remember that big painting I was working on for my friend, Lori and her husband? 

I think it's done.

I've signed it.

I'm happy with it.

That doesn't mean I'm satisfied with it.  I can find hundreds of things wrong with it.  Things I wish I knew how to do better.  Things I wonder if everybody else, especially Lori and Ron, will look at and say, "What was she thinking?"

Here's how it went.

First, following my own advice, I just got some paint all over that gigantic canvas so it wouldn't be so intimidating.   I used cadmium yellow because I knew I wanted some nice bright, glowing, sun-shiney spots to be there when the whole thing was finally done.

This is going in a bedroom, so I know I want it to be a peaceful, forest scene.  Lori is from Canada and Ron is from Georgia.  Both of them are used to much different scenery than is found on our desert.  I thought they might like something with more of a woodsy feel to it.  I hope I'm right.   And, of course, a gently flowing river is always a peaceful touch.

At this point, I only have the barest idea of where I'm going with this painting.  I trust that it will speak to me as I go.  And it does.

The sky begins.

               And some distant hills and trees.

I'm leaving those biggest tree trunks for now because I want to mainly use glazes to  paint them in.

                         

The trees are scary for me.  All those leaves!  It's hard to make them look like leaves instead of just paint smudges.

  

But, I smudge away, anyway.  Ya gotta start somewhere!

                         

Talk about scary...check out that second tree on the left...the one across the river.  Yikes!

                          

Yep...that one...the one I made purple while trying to fix it.  Why did I make it purple?  Ummmm...I dunno.

There!  That's much better.

                         

But now, there's an alligator laying on the bank at the bottom of that tree.   Yikes...restful NOT!

 See the alligator?  See the path.  I wish I had that same look to the path in the final painting.  But, I don't.  Unfortunately, sometimes fixing one thing messes up something else a bit.  And eventually, you just have to say,

"Self!  Stop messing with it!!!!"

So, I did.

PEACE

36" x 48"

oil on canvas

********************************

It finally dried.

It is now hanging on their bedroom wall.

               

And I gotta say this. 

That canvas doesn't look so doggone big anymore.

Maybe we should've got a bigger one.

By the way, while I was there to hang the painting, we counted paintings I've done which are hanging in their house.  There were 29 of them.  Lori is dissatisfied with that number.  She wants one more.

I will be most happy to do one more for her.  She has been, as I've said, my most staunch supporter and cheerleader for many years now. 

I am grateful, beyond measure, for her friendship.

P.S.

Actually, one of those paintings isn't even hers.  It's Ron's.  And it hangs in his 'man cave'. 

"IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE"

8 x 10 acrylic on masonite

I thought that was most appropriate because he actually is one.

A rocket scientist, I mean.

Plus, he makes the very best mashed potatoes in the whole, entire universe!

                         

THE PANIC BUTTON

It is Sunday evening.


5:30 p.m.

It just dawned on me that I have NOTHING prepared for this blog for tomorrow.

Yikes!

Methinks it is time for..............

Wanna know how I made that?

I found a curved font...made it real big.......

printed it out..........

put the lid of a milk jug in just the right spot......

and took a picture.

Voila!

***************************

OK....that was me procrastinating. I still don't know what to write.


***************************
Thinking.


Thinking.



I know. How about a story?



Once upon a time......back on the farm.........we raised rabbits.



One day, my 5 year old son happened to see a pair of rabbits breeding.



Have you ever seen that? I guarantee you it is an unforgettable experience.



When the male rabbit is...ahem....finished.....he lets out the most incredible squeal you have ever heard in your life and promptly falls to the ground, as though dead.



Talk about rolling over and going to sleep!



A few days later, the preacher came to visit.



During a lull in the conversation, 5 year old really livened things up with this question.



"Mama, when Daddy breeds you does he squeal like that rabbit?"



I am most grateful to give you the answer.


In a word, 'No.'



The End.

NEVER ON SUNDAY-2/21/2010

LIFE IS!

Doing this blog is very much like doing my timed daily paintings.

I strive to get at the meat of the issue...or the painting...as quickly and efficiently as possible.

That means, I often write posts without giving them time to fully develop in my mind.  It's almost like free-association journaling.

So, I ask you to give me some allowance.  I might change my my perspective from time to time.

John Wayne said it best.  "Windage and elevation, Pilgrim."

In other words, your aim is determined by present conditions and perspective.  And we are all pilgrims in a land that is a new world, every single day of our lives.

Sometimes, I am going to miss the mark...completely.

I am no sage.  I have attained a modicum of wisdom, but surely am not even pretending to be any kind of guru....about painting, writing, photography or life.

Many would consider me and my life to be an example of complete failure.  So, for crying out loud, don't follow me!

However............

If I can inspire even one of you to think deeper, look closer, fly higher, try harder,  trust more, love stronger, dance freer, open wider to all the influences of this magnificent world in which we live and allow all that to come out of you in some creative burst of beauty....well, doggone it, I can die happy!

But not, until I grow into a better painter.  A better photographer. A better writer.  A better person.

I am grateful that every day gives me the opportunity to do just that!

Life is all about changing and growing.

Life is!

I am so grateful for Life!

SHORT STUFF

After three lengthy blog entries and another lengthy one coming on Monday, I am going to make this one very short.

First, there is this incredible work of art!

My oldest lives in East Texas, where they just had an incredible amount of snow...for them.

He, the 40+year old kid, apparently had a ball building this huge fishing snowman.

He informs me that the bottom 'ball' required nine laundry baskets full of the white stuff.

On, or about, this same time, said 40 +year old actually went fishing!  He's a die-hard, that's for sure.

He caught a 14 pound catfish.  Good going, Kiddo!!!

****************

The other thing is this.

What's this, you ask?

This is just the coolest idea hubby recently had!

A one quart size ziplock bag fits perfectly inside a small Folger's coffee container.

And why is that so cool, you ask?

Because, when you open a can of tomatoes for making spaghetti sauce, only to discover it's a can of tomatoes and green chiles which would be really yucky in spaghetti sauce, you can pour it all into a ziplock bag and save it for making Spanish rice!

What's also very cool is that the big Folger's cannister is the absolute perfect size for the gallon size ziplock bags!

By folding the top of the bag down, you can easily pour the leftover spaghetti sauce-or any other messy liquid -into the bag without getting the zipper part all messy with food!

I'm sure there's a gadget available on the market that meets this purpose.  But I like this.  It works.

And it's free!

That's it, folks!

I'm going to go paint now!!!

I am very grateful for my husband's bright idea!

SAN XAVIER MISSION-Chapter Three

Tohono O'Odham means 'desert people' and the plants of the Sonoran desert provide the materials for their much sought after baskets. 

These are some beautiful examples on display in the San Xavier Mission museum.

This is their flag.

The 'man in the maze' is often connected with this tribe and symbolizes man's spiritual search toward 'center.'

Here, it is painted on a wall in the museum.

This also is painted on a wall in the museum.

I love the colors!

On the facade of the church, you will see this cat chasing the mouse.  Legend has it that if the cat ever chases the mouse, that will be the end of the world.

Buildings such as these cast some pretty interesting shadows at times.  I was happy that I didn't miss this one!

Along a courtyard wall of an adjacent small chapel are the stations of the cross.

Inside the little chapel is this.

These are the bells on the small chapel.

so pretty....so peaceful.

a cross-topped arch

A mosaic-tiled St. Francis

and the Virgin of Guadalupe

On one of the ramadas, I saw this 'cristo.'  A young Tohono O'Odham woman told me her grandfather had made it and placed it there, many,many years ago.  This may be my favorite piece of all the religous art to be found at San Xavier. 

To learn more about the Tohono O'Odham people, visit

http://www.sanxaviermission.org/Tohono.html

Also, there seem to be many good videos on youtube.  I especially like this one which shows the special relationship of the T. O. people with the saguaro cactus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjsvGg5kAgM

It  has become apparent to me, that I have consistantly typed "O'Odham"...when it fact it should be written O'odham.

I am grateful for your forgiveness of my ignorance and carelessness.

And I am grateful for San Xavier Mission and the Tohono O'odham- people of the desert.

SAN XAVIER-THE CHURCH

San Xavier Mission is stunning.
It's breathtakingly,surprisingly beautiful.

Unlike the equally beautiful Spanish mission at San Juan Capistrano, San Xavier has the element of surprise.  You drive up onto it, from a barren, arid, desert land and it hits you right in the face.

San Juan Mission, as I recall, is nestled amongst many trees and in a fairly urban area.  It reveals itself to you little by little.  Not so, The Dove of the Desert.

Approaching the mission from state highway 19, you enter the Tohono O'Odham reservation and cross the Santa Cruz river.  Yes, it's one of those usually dry rivers which run through Tucson.  Occasionally, though...this

looks like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7iJhLUflGk&feature=related

which helps to explains the full name of the mission, which is San Xavier del Bac.  'Del bac' means...where the water reappears.  Arizona has many rivers which go underground for a time and then emerge, once again, on the surface.  Water, on the desert, is worth more than gold.  So, a place where water appeared must have seemed like paradise.

You do get a glimpse of the dove, from the highway.  Actually, you can see the gleam of the dome of the mission from many high points around Tucson.  But nothing prepares you for your first good look of it, as you turn the corner and see this.

That stark white against that blue sky leaves you breathless.

Let's take notice of something right here.  Do you see the difference in the color of the left tower and the right one?  Does it remind you of a Clorox commercial?  For many years now, restoration work has been done on this historic building.  What you see is the difference in the tower which has been restored and the tower which has not.  Another bit of information to digest is this:  No one has ever known...nor probably ever will know...just why that right tower was never finished.

It is a mystery.

http://arizonanotebook.com/?p=660

You must remember that almost everything you see in and on this mission is made of mud....adobe, to be precise.  Trees are scarce on the Sonoran Desert now and most assuredly also were back in the 1700's when construction began.  Embellishments which would have been carved in wood or cast in precious metals in European churches could only be made from the lowly adobe from which the very building itself was created. 

Even on a desert, mud doesn't last forever, so in 1989 restoration was begun and is ongoing.

This is what a lot of the interior looked like in its 200+ year old state.

The many pictures to follow will show off the true beauty after the restoration.  I am ignorant about both Catholicism and architecture and don't know the right terminology for the things I will show you.  I will just let the  pictures speak for themselves.

There is a vast amount of interesting information and many pictures of the restoration on this website.

http://www.patronatosanxavier.org/

It was difficult to take pictures the day we were there.  Even after the last Mass, the church was filled with people...lighting candles and praying or taking pictures and gawking.  My favorite times to visit are on weekdays when there are fewer people.  Perhaps I'll try again, another day, to get some better pictures to share.

The small museum is well worth the time it takes to visit it.  It is housed in the original living quarters for the priests. Note the thickness of the walls.

I'm thinking these steps, leading to a window, were for the express purpose of facilitating the necessary (at the time) practice of watching for marauding Apaches.

These halls are so very narrow...and have very low ceilings.

Look at the detail even in such a place as the hall ceiling.

This hallway is even more narrow and low-ceilinged than the other one!

Some artifacts on display in the original dining area.

I love this fireplace.  It doesn't have a chimney but it does have two quite practical indentations to hold clay vessels.

The courtyard used to be heavily planted with groundcovers and other plants.  It was determined that all that moisture was part of the cause of the disintegration of the adobe plaster, so a few years ago, it was paved with bricks and most plants removed.  It isn't as lovely as it was back then....but obviously, this change was necessary.

Once again, I find myself with many leftover pictures. 

So.........

Chapter Three...tomorrow.

I am grateful for the people who stepped in to save this wondrous and special place.