I AIN'T SKEERED ANYMORE.

I guess I should apologize because the subject today...yet again....is

painting.

Are you surprised?

Well, I am.

I am very surprised by what my little 'timed painting' exercise has brought about.  And since almost every minute of every day has been spent with a paint brush in my hand, I just have nothing else to talk about...or blog about.

So, if you are bored by this subject by now, you might just want to skip this post altogether.

What happened, I am wondering?

It seems that I have made some kind of quantam leap in grasping the concept that I actually can learn to paint anything...IF I simply allow myself to really 'see' the shapes that are 'there' instead of the 'shape' my mind tells me is there.

Dang!

Hot Damn!

and

Hallelelujia!!!

The result of all this is that in the short time, since I set myself this task, I have produced four paintings that I am quite pleased with....no.......not just pleased........

I am over the moon!

I am doing the happy dance in my soul!

I am feeling like Rocky running up the steps!

I am woman...hear me roar!!!!

I am John Wayne catching the bad guys!

It all began with that little timed painting/study I did of Poppy's barn.  I really liked something about what I had done in the quick sketchy painting of it, so I pulled out a 16 x 20 canvas and did a 'real' painting.  I was still, somewhat, in chicken mode...meaning I was scared to attempt a part of the painting...so I really wimped out on it.  The particular part of the scene was the trees.  Sweet gini...yes, the one who often comments on here, called me on it.  I didn't accept her challenge immediately...still maintaining my poultry position.  But I did do another painting of the same barn...different view....and this time, I put in the dratted trees.  But I really looked at the different shapes in the trees in the photo and I'll be darned, they turned out pretty good!  So, I gave in, followed gini's good advice and re-worked barn #1, including proper trees!  On a roll, I painted barn #3. This time, with autumn trees instead of summer ones!  Again, I was  pretty happy with what I'd done.

Soon, I will post a blog about that barn and show you the three paintings.  But first, I want to get some information about the barn, which has been in my daughter-in-law's family for at least two generations.

While I was going through my collection of photos, looking for all my pictures of the barn, I had pulled out one of a lady in a garden in Old San Diego...and set it aside....for some reason.

One morning, about 3 a.m., I woke up, knowing I had to try to paint that image.  I made myself stay in bed until 4...then I filled my BE GRATEFUL mug with strong, hot coffee and still in my jammies and robe, headed straight to the easel.

LA SENORA

9 x 12 acrylic on masonite

This lovely lady looks so peaceful and serene, andn a little mysterious, relaxing in the garden.  I am thinking she has learned a valuable lesson about life.

When we hold on to our preconceived ideas, we are holding on to an illusion.  Nothing 'real' and 'good' can come from either illusions or delusions.  We must open our eyes to what is truly 'real' if we want to make progress as human beings.  Kind of like if you want to make a good painting, you have to open your eyes...and your mind...so you can see what is really there.

How grateful I am, once again for the joy of painting!

And ya know what?  I'm already well into another painting with a  person in it.  And this one has lots and lots of flowers, too.  I've always been really scared of painting flowers.

I ain't skeered anymore.

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I wrote that last sentence.  I read it.  I knew it was true.  I broke into tears. Good ones.

In another post, I'll try to explain why this moves me so much, but I can't right this minute.

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I am filled with gratitude!