CHANGE IS HARD!

You know that old saying "Insanity is repeating the same behavior expecting different results"?


Why is it so hard to give up some of our old behaviors?  We know darn well they aren't working but still we hold on to them as if our very lives depended on clinging to them...unhealthy or unhelpful though they may be.

I remember my dad saying, over and over and over again..."I may be wrong, but."

He said that about a lot of things. The 'but' always stopped any possible change in his thinking or his behavior.

I've thought about that a lot. And I came to this conclusion...which may very well be wrong...

but.........LOL

If he truly admitted, I AM WRONG IN THAT THINKING OR THAT BEHAVIOR, it meant, in his mind, that he was less than he thought he was. Being 'right', to him was a measure of his value as a human being. If he was wrong, somehow, the value of his life lived by that 'wrong' idea was diminished. And he could not stand being diminished. He could not see that recognizing 'wrong' thinking and then changing 'wrong' thinking was a freedom instead of a punishment.

It would be really helpful if we could just stop labeling our thoughts and actions as 'right' or 'wrong.'

Why can't we just call them 'helpful' or unhelpful?'

What is it that I lost when I began to change my thinking from self sabotaging to self supporting? For the life of me, I can't think of one thing! Although at the time, it seemed awfully painful. Rather like childbirth only emotional and mental instead of physical.

My idea of why my dad couldn't/wouldn't change may very well be inaccurate. Perhaps it is simply an explanation of the way I felt about changing my own thoughts and behavior.

Anyway, it's just one of those things I got to thinking about one day and thought I'd share it with you.

And, you know me...I'm thinking about how art might relate to this.  And I can easily see how it does.

I have heard, from a well-educated artist friend, how people she has seen who have been painting..or sculpting...for years, but have never grown beyond their initial, innate abilities.  They just keep painting or sculpting the same thing over and over and over again....never trying new ideas...never changing the way they have always done things.  And, of course, never producing anything new or exciting or different...never growing in their art.

Their 'techniques might not be supporting change and growth in their art, but those techniques feel comfortable...too comfortable to change.  So, they hang on for dear life...rather like my father did...to ideas which are pretty heavy and can really hold you down.

Oh, Dear God...deliver me from clinging to comfort.  Let me have the courage to let go of old ways and ideas that don't work and try new ones.

Even if it hurts.

I am grateful to learn.